Tiredness— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Cải thiện sự tự nhiên và trôi chảy: tránh lặp từ (ví dụ: “because” nhiều lần) và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp cơ bản (ví dụ: “over wo work” → “overwork”, “exercise” nên là “exercises” hay “assignments”). Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề ngắn gọn, sau đó giải thích với một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể. Dùng liên từ hợp lý để mạch lạc nhưng không lặp lại.

Ejemplo: Yes, I do. I'm a 12th-grade student, so I often feel tired because I have a heavy workload. For example, I usually have several assignments and extra classes to finish each week, which leaves me short of rest.

Sugerencia: Cải thiện rõ ràng và ngữ pháp: tránh tiếng “umm” và câu dài lủng củng. Nêu rõ thời điểm rồi giải thích cụ thể (ví dụ: sau tiết học dài, buổi tự học tối). Sử dụng cấu trúc ngắn gọn, chia động từ đúng (e.g., “when I study at school”), và đưa thông tin cụ thể về thời lượng thay vì nói mơ hồ (“around like a hour”).

Ejemplo: I usually feel tired after long study sessions at school. For instance, after a one-hour intensive lesson or an afternoon of back-to-back classes, I often feel drained and need a short break.

Sugerencia: Cải thiện ngữ pháp, độ tự nhiên và trật tự ý: sửa lỗi (ví dụ: “I went a few tired” không đúng), tránh “umm”. Trả lời trực tiếp bằng một câu chủ đề rồi nêu hai hành động cụ thể (ví dụ: nghỉ giải lao ngắn, chơi game với bạn bè). Thêm lý do ngắn gọn để làm rõ tác dụng của hành động (ví dụ: giúp giảm stress).

Ejemplo: When I feel tired, I usually take a short break and then relax by playing video games with my friends. This helps me unwind after studying and recharge my energy before doing more homework.

× I over wo work in school because there are a lot of exercise that I need to finish on time.

✓ I overwork at school because there are a lot of exercises that I need to finish on time.

The noun 'exercise' should be plural ('exercises') because it refers to multiple items. Also 'over wo work' is a typo; use 'overwork' or 'work too much'. Use preposition 'at' for activities at school. Suggestion: proofread for typos and ensure countable nouns are plural when referring to more than one item.

× As I mentioned earlier, I feel tired when I study a lot and when I umm, run out of energy when study at school because you know that umm, this period of school often around like a hour and I feel exhausted about that.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I feel tired when I study a lot and when I run out of energy while studying at school because this school period often lasts around an hour and I feel exhausted because of that.

The clause 'when study at school' is missing the subject or correct verb form; it should be 'while studying' (present participle) or 'when I study'. 'This period of school often around like a hour' is missing a verb and has incorrect article and preposition: use 'lasts around an hour' and 'an' before vowel sound. Suggestion: use present participle for simultaneous actions ('while studying') and include verbs such as 'lasts' for duration. Also use 'an' before 'hour'.

× I went a few tired.

✓ I get a little tired.

'I went a few tired' mixes past tense 'went' with incorrect structure. The intended meaning is a present habitual response, so use present tense 'I get a little tired' or 'I feel a little tired'. 'A few' is not used with uncountable adjective 'tired'; use 'a little' or 'a bit'. Suggestion: match tense to context (habitual: present simple) and use correct quantifier with adjectives.

× I actually want to enjoy my own hobbies such as playing video game with my friends.

✓ I actually want to enjoy my own hobbies such as playing video games with my friends.

The noun 'video game' should be plural ('video games') when speaking generally about the hobby. No preposition change is needed here, but ensure plural for countable nouns used generally. Suggestion: use plural for general activities (playing video games).

× Umm I usually play video game when I finish study at school and I go back to home so that I can enjoy my private time with my hobbies.

✓ I usually play video games when I finish studying at school and I go back home so that I can enjoy my private time with my hobbies.

'Play video game' should be 'play video games' for general activity. 'Finish study at school' needs gerund or object: use 'finish studying at school'. 'Go back to home' is incorrect; say 'go back home' or 'return home'. Suggestion: use gerund after 'finish' and use correct verb patterns and prepositions ('go back home').

× ...because there are a lot of exercise that I need to finish on time.

✓ ...because there are a lot of exercises that I need to finish on time.

The structure 'there are a lot of' requires the plural noun 'exercises'. Using singular 'exercise' after 'a lot of' is incorrect when referring to multiple items. Suggestion: ensure nouns following quantifiers agree in number.

× As I mentioned earlier, I feel tired when I study a lot and when I umm, run out of energy when study at school because you know that umm, this period of school often around like a hour and I feel exhausted about that.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, I feel tired when I study a lot and when I run out of energy while studying at school because this school period often lasts around an hour and I feel exhausted because of that.

The sentence is long and uses repeated 'when' awkwardly. Replace 'when study at school' with 'while studying at school' and simplify conjunctions. Also avoid filler words ('umm', 'you know') in formal responses. Suggestion: break complex sentences into shorter ones and use appropriate conjunctions or participle clauses.