Tiredness— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., "a food service supervisor"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words to connect cause and effect (e.g., "because", "so"). Keep it under five sentences and avoid redundancy.

Ejemplo: Yes, I often feel tired. I work as a food service supervisor and usually do 10 to 12-hour shifts, so the long hours leave me exhausted when I get home.

Sugerencia: Correct grammar and phrasing ("goes" not "go goes") and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear time phrase, explain why with specific details, and use linking words like "because" or "since". Limit to two or three sentences.

Ejemplo: I usually feel most tired at the weekends because the restaurant is much busier then, so I often work longer shifts on Saturdays and Sundays.

Sugerencia: Use present tense consistently and correct small errors ("I don't have much energy", "play music"). Start with a topic sentence about your routine, then give specific relaxing activities and explain briefly why they help. Keep it natural and under five sentences.

Ejemplo: When I'm tired I usually avoid talking and relax at home. After dinner I read a book or listen to soft music because these activities help me unwind and sleep better.

× I work as an food service supervisor in a restaurant and usually do 10 to 12 hour shift continuously.

✓ I work as a food service supervisor in a restaurant and usually do 10 to 12-hour shifts continuously.

Incorrect use of the indefinite article 'an' before a consonant sound; should be 'a food service supervisor'. Also '10 to 12 hour shift' needs hyphenation for the compound adjective '10 to 12-hour' and plural 'shifts' to agree with 'usually do' and indicate repeated occurrences. Suggestion: use 'a' before consonant sounds, hyphenate compound time expressions, and match singular/plural appropriately.

× As a result, when I come back home I feel exhausted.

✓ As a result, when I come back home, I feel exhausted.

Missing comma after the dependent clause 'when I come back home' makes the sentence read awkwardly. Add a comma to separate clauses. Note: this is punctuation rather than article, but improves clarity. Suggestion: place a comma after introductory or dependent time clauses.

× Most of the time I feel tired during the weekends because the restaurant gets busy whereas during the weekdays the restaurant go goes very smooth and not too hectic.

✓ Most of the time I feel tired during the weekends because the restaurant gets busy, whereas during the weekdays the restaurant goes very smoothly and is not too hectic.

Multiple issues: 'go goes' is a duplicated word; remove one. 'Restaurant' is singular so the verb should be 'goes' (subject-verb agreement). 'Smooth' is an adjective but needs the adverb 'smoothly' to describe how it goes. Also add 'is' before 'not too hectic' to form a correct clause. Suggestion: avoid duplication, ensure verb agrees with singular nouns, and use adverbs to modify verbs.

× For example, on Saturdays and Sundays I often work long shifts.

✓ For example, on Saturdays and Sundays I often work long shifts.

This sentence is correct grammatically. 'Saturdays and Sundays' (plural) and 'long shifts' (plural) agree with 'often'. No change needed.

× After spending a long day, obviously I didn't have much energy to talk with somebody.

✓ After spending a long day, obviously I don't have much energy to talk with anybody.

Context is habitual (general response), so present simple 'don't have' fits better than past 'didn't have'. Also 'talk with somebody' is less natural than 'talk with anybody' or 'talk to anyone' in negative/habitual contexts. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions and use 'anybody/anyone' in negative/general statements.

× So after preparing my dinner and having that I I spend my night reading books or playing a nice music so that I can relax my mind.

✓ So after preparing my dinner and having it, I spend my evenings reading books or listening to nice music so that I can relax my mind.

Several issues: duplicate 'I I' remove extra 'I'. 'Having that' is unnatural; use 'having it'. 'Spend my night' is better as 'spend my evenings' for habitual action. 'Playing a nice music' is incorrect: you 'play music' (if you perform) or 'listen to music'; use 'listening to nice music'. Use plural 'evenings' for habitual routines. Suggestion: remove duplicates, use natural collocations (have it, listen to music), and match habitual time expressions.