Tiredness— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, because/so) and avoid filler sounds (uh, um). Also correct small grammar issues (e.g. 'def definitely' is redundant).

Ejemplo: Yes, I often feel tired, especially after a long run or a busy workday. For example, I usually notice tiredness in my eyes, so I close them and put cucumber slices on them to relax and reduce stress.

Sugerencia: Give a clear topic sentence and use correct verb forms and linking phrases. Avoid repeating the same idea (long day/work day) and use specific examples (how long or what tasks). Replace informal phrases like 'OK, I'm going to get tired now' with a concise summary.

Ejemplo: I usually feel tired at the end of a long or intense workday, particularly after hours of reading or staring at a computer screen. For instance, after two or three hours of continuous screen work my eyes feel strained and I know I need a break.

Sugerencia: Organize your answer with a topic sentence plus two specific actions, using correct grammar (laying down → lie down; put → putting) and linking words (for example, then, after that). Give brief reasons why these actions help.

Ejemplo: When I feel tired, I lie down and close my eyes to rest my vision. Then I might put cucumber slices or a hydrating face mask on, because these help me relax and reduce stress.

× Yes I do often feel tired, especially after a very long uh run or work day.

✓ Yes, I often do feel tired, especially after a very long run or a workday.

Adverb placement: 'often' typically appears before the main verb or after the auxiliary 'do'. The original 'do often feel' is grammatical but sounds awkward; 'often do feel' or simply 'I often feel' is clearer. Also add articles: 'a very long run' is fine, but 'work day' should be one word 'workday' or 'a workday'. Suggestion: move 'often' before 'do' or remove 'do' and say 'I often feel tired'.

× I do feel tired, especially I feel it in my eyes.

✓ I do feel tired; especially, I feel it in my eyes.

Sentence structure/redundancy: Repeating 'I feel' is redundant and the sentence needs proper punctuation or a conjunction. Use a semicolon or 'and' to connect clauses, or remove repetition: 'I do feel tired, especially in my eyes.' This improves flow and avoids repetition.

× So whenever I feel that way I just put some cucumber on my eyes and relax.

✓ So whenever I feel that way, I just put cucumber slices on my eyes and relax.

Article and noun usage: 'some cucumber' is informal; 'cucumber slices' is more natural. Also add a comma after the introductory clause. 'On my eyes' is fine, but 'put cucumber slices on my eyes' is clearer and more idiomatic.

× That would def definitely improve my stress.

✓ That definitely helps reduce my stress.

Modal verb and register: 'def' is slang and redundant with 'definitely'. 'That would definitely improve my stress' is awkward because 'improve my stress' is not idiomatic. Use 'helps reduce my stress' or 'definitely reduces my stress'. Also match tense: present simple 'helps' fits habitual action.

× I do feel tired after a long day, after a very intense or busy work day, or especially when I read a lot or looking at the blue screen.

✓ I do feel tired after a long day, after a very intense or busy workday, or especially when I read a lot or look at a blue screen.

Verb form consistency: 'read a lot or looking' mixes base form 'read' with '-ing' form 'looking'. Use parallel structure: 'read a lot or look at a blue screen.' Also 'workday' is one word; 'the blue screen' can be 'a blue screen' for general reference.

× So there are times I usually expect that OK, I'm going to get tired now.

✓ So there are times when I usually think, 'OK, I'm going to get tired now.'

Sentence structure and discourse markers: Add 'when' after 'times' to form a relative clause. Use 'think' instead of 'expect' for this context, and punctuate the internal thought with commas or quotation marks. This makes the sentence grammatical and clearer.

× I usually try to reduce my tiredness by laying down, closing my eyes, put some cucumber or put a face mask.

✓ I usually try to reduce my tiredness by lying down, closing my eyes, putting cucumber slices on my eyes, or putting on a face mask.

Gerund form: After 'by' use the -ing form (gerund). 'Laying' is incorrect here; the correct form is 'lying down'. Also make parallel gerund phrases: 'closing', 'putting', 'putting on'. Use 'putting on a face mask' rather than 'put a face mask'.

× Just pamper myself.

✓ I just pamper myself.

Sentence without subject: 'Just pamper myself' is a sentence fragment missing the subject 'I'. Add the pronoun to make a complete sentence: 'I just pamper myself.'

× That would definitely help my stress levels come down.

✓ That definitely helps my stress levels come down.

Modal and tense: Using 'would' implies hypothetical; since the student describes a habitual action, use present simple 'helps'. Also word order 'help my stress levels come down' is acceptable, but 'helps my stress levels come down' is more natural for habitual effects.