Politeness— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문장이 전반적으로 자연스럽고 내용도 잘 전달됩니다. 다만 주제문 이후에 구체적 예시(예: 부모님이 어떤 상황에서 어떻게 가르쳤는지)를 하나 추가하면 더 설득력 있고 풍부한 답변이 됩니다. 또한 'family's value' 대신 'family values'처럼 자연스러운 표현을 쓰는 것이 좋습니다. 연결어를 하나 넣어 문장 흐름을 부드럽게 하십시오.

Ejemplo: I learned to be polite mostly from my parents. For example, whenever I received a gift they would encourage me to say “thank you” and to write a note afterward, which reinforced the habit. As a result, politeness became an important family value.

Sugerencia: 답변이 명확하고 간결하지만 약간 일반적입니다. 구체적인 이유나 짧은 예시를 덧붙이면 더 강한 인상을 줄 수 있습니다. 또한 두 번째 문장의 연결을 위해 'because'나 'so' 같은 연결어를 사용해 보세요. 마지막으로 문장 수를 2~3문장으로 유지하여 간결함을 지키십시오.

Ejemplo: Absolutely, I believe being polite is really important because it helps build trust and good relationships. For instance, saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ often makes people more willing to cooperate, so everyday interactions become smoother.

Sugerencia: 핵심은 잘 잡았지만 표현과 문법에서 개선이 필요합니다. 'elders, old people in authority'는 중복되므로 'elders and people in authority'처럼 간결하게 고치세요. 'highlights build good relationships'는 문법적으로 어색하므로 'helps build good relationships'로 수정하세요. 또한 연결어('for example', 'in particular')를 사용해 구체적 상황을 제시하면 더 좋습니다.

Ejemplo: We should be polite to elders and people in positions of authority, especially in family gatherings or formal meetings. For example, in many cultures it is customary to address older relatives respectfully, which helps maintain harmony and good relationships.

Sugerencia: 답변이 구체적이고 자연스럽습니다. 다만 'wait my comments'는 어색한 표현이므로 'hold back my comments'나 'wait to make comments'로 고치세요. 연결어를 사용해 문장들을 더 유기적으로 연결하면 더 매끄럽습니다. 예시로 한 번의 구체적 상황을 추가하면 완성도가 높아집니다.

Ejemplo: I always tried to follow the rules at school and at home, and I listened carefully to my parents and teachers. For instance, I would wait to make comments until the end of class so I didn’t interrupt others, which showed respect and patience.

× Politeness was a big part of my family's value.

✓ Politeness was a big part of my family's values.

Use plural 'values' because 'value' in this context refers to the set of principles the family holds; in English we say 'family values' (복수형). Replace 'value' with 'values' to match idiomatic usage.

× Politeness helps build good relationships and it also makes social interaction much smoother and more pleasant

✓ Politeness helps build good relationships and also makes social interaction much smoother and more pleasant.

The sentence lacked a final punctuation and had redundant 'it'. Remove 'it' to maintain concise present tense structure and add a full stop. Ensure parallel structure: 'helps build' and 'makes' are both present tense verbs.

× It's important to be polite with elders, old people in authority.

✓ It's important to be polite to elders and older people in authority.

Use 'polite to' rather than 'polite with'. Also 'old people in authority' is awkward; 'older people in authority' or 'people in authority' is better. Use 'and' to connect 'elders' and 'older people'.

× It's a sign of respect in most cultures and it highlights build good relationships.

✓ It's a sign of respect in most cultures and it helps build good relationships.

Original mixes verbs incorrectly: 'highlights build' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'helps build' to show causation. Maintain conjunction 'and' linking two coordinated clauses.

× And I made sure to wait my comments and not interrupt others when they were speaking.

✓ And I made sure to withhold my comments and not interrupt others when they were speaking.

'Wait my comments' is incorrect; use 'withhold my comments' or 'hold back my comments'. Alternatively 'wait to make my comments' could work. Use proper verb form; here 'to withhold' fits the infinitive after 'made sure to'.