Paper— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and correct minor grammar errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler phrases.

Ejemplo: Yes. My mother taught me several simple paper crafts when I was a child. For example, we folded paper into small trash bins and origami cats, and I found making them very enjoyable because they were cute and easy to create.

Sugerencia: Give a direct answer, correct repetition and hesitations, and provide one specific example of when you would write by hand. Use linking words to clarify contrast.

Ejemplo: Not usually. I prefer typing on my computer or phone because it is more convenient and easier to edit. However, I do write physical letters on special occasions, for example when sending formal documents or signing certificates for official purposes.

Sugerencia: Be clearer and avoid pronoun mistakes. State your opinion, then give a specific, well-phrased example. Use linking words like "for example" and correct tense and pronoun references.

Ejemplo: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters. For example, my mother has the love letters my father wrote to her when they were dating, and she keeps them as a way to remember their early relationship.

Sugerencia: Answer directly, remove repetition, and give a specific circumstance when you might carry a notebook. Use linking words to connect the general statement and the example.

Ejemplo: No, I usually rely on my phone because its notes app lets me record tasks and ideas instantly. However, I sometimes take a small notebook when I expect to draw diagrams or attend meetings where I prefer writing by hand.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers like "umm," and be specific about why you enjoyed it and what happened next. Keep to two or three sentences max and use linking words to explain reasons and results.

Ejemplo: As a child, I enjoyed writing essays on paper because I liked expressing my ideas clearly. As a result, I often shared my essays with my parents and classmates to get feedback, which encouraged me to write more.

× Yes, when I was younger my mom taught me how to make makes crafts with paper.

✓ Yes, when I was younger my mom taught me how to make crafts with paper.

The original contains an incorrect redundant verb 'make makes'. This is a word choice/verb form error not listed exactly but fits as a sentence structure/verb error (use 'make' once). Remove the extra 'makes' to correct the verb phrase. Suggestion: use a single base verb 'make' with the noun 'crafts'.

× We fold papers into a little trash can and cats and some other cute stuff with our hands, which is which was really interesting for me as a kid.

✓ We folded paper into little trash cans, cats, and other cute things with our hands, which was really interesting to me as a kid.

Multiple issues: 'papers' is usually uncountable when referring to sheets in craft context so use 'paper' or 'sheets'; 'a little trash can and cats' mismatches singular/plural and article use; 'some other cute stuff' is informal and vague—use 'other cute things'; tense should match past ('folded'); 'which is which was' is redundant and incorrect—use 'which was'. Suggestion: keep consistent past tense, use correct noun forms and a clear relative clause.

× Not really. I usually write letters on the computer or on my cellphone because it is far more convenient and easy to modify the the content.

✓ Not really. I usually write letters on the computer or on my cellphone because it is far more convenient and easier to modify the content.

Errors: repeated word 'the the'; parallelism problem between 'convenient and easy'—use comparative forms consistently ('more convenient and easier') or rephrase; 'content' doesn't need 'the' here. Suggestion: remove duplicate word, fix parallel structure, and drop unnecessary article.

× But I will still do so if it's for special occasions like uh sending documents to the uh, to sending sending documents to some legislature.

✓ But I will still do so for special occasions, such as sending documents to a legislature.

Problems: unnecessary filler words 'uh', repeated phrases 'to sending sending', awkward 'if it's for'—better 'for special occasions, such as'; 'some legislature' is odd—use 'a legislature' or 'a government body'. Suggestion: remove fillers and repetitions, simplify to 'for special occasions, such as sending documents to a legislature.'

× I think some people still do. So for example, my mom keeps those love letters my father wrote to him.

✓ I think some people still do. For example, my mom keeps the love letters my father wrote to her.

Pronoun error: 'wrote to him' is incorrect because the letters were written by the father to the mother, so the correct object pronoun is 'her'. Also 'those' can be 'the' for specific letters. Suggestion: ensure subject-pronoun references match the people mentioned.

× I wrote to her when they were in a relationship and this is kind of like recording their love and help her remember those good old things.

✓ He wrote to her when they were in a relationship, and these letters kind of record their love and help her remember those good old times.

Multiple issues: 'I wrote to her' conflicts with earlier speaker (student speaking about parents)—should be 'he wrote to her' or 'my father wrote to my mother'; 'this is kind of like recording' is awkward and mismatched; 'help her remember' needs subject agreement—'and help her remember' refers to 'these letters' (plural) so verb 'help' is correct but previous clause should match plural 'these letters'; 'good old things' is unidiomatic—use 'good old times'. Suggestion: make subjects clear (who wrote), use plural reference 'these letters', and use idiomatic phrase 'good old times'.

× No, because I think my phone can actually replace pens and paper.

✓ No, because I think my phone can actually replace pens and paper.

This sentence is acceptable grammatically; no change needed. (Kept as is.)

× I can record my to dos and my ideas instantly on the note apps in the in the note apps on the phone, and occasionally I may bring a notebook to some.

✓ I can record my to-dos and ideas instantly in the note apps on my phone, and occasionally I may bring a notebook.

Problems: repeated phrase 'in the in the note apps'; 'to dos' should be hyphenated 'to-dos' or 'to-do list'; 'on the phone' better as 'on my phone'; 'bring a notebook to some' is incomplete—remove 'to some'. Suggestion: remove repetitions, fix hyphenation, and make prepositions possessive and concise.

× When I was younger, I used to enjoy writing essays on the paper because I found it really fascinating and rewarding to record my opinions and ideas beautifully with UMM, with language, and show them to my parents and classmates to see their response.

✓ When I was younger, I used to enjoy writing essays on paper because I found it fascinating and rewarding to record my opinions and ideas in language and show them to my parents and classmates to see their responses.

Issues: 'on the paper' should be 'on paper' (article error); 'really' is optional; 'UMM' is filler and should be removed; 'with language' awkward—use 'in language' or simply omit; 'to see their response' should be plural 'responses' to match multiple people. Suggestion: remove fillers, correct article use, and ensure plural agreement for 'responses'.