Parks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g. 'big big') and fix subject-verb order. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'because' to connect ideas.

Ejemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, when we lived near a large park I and my friends spent hours playing games like hide-and-seek and football, which are some of my fondest memories.

Sugerencia: Good direct answer and reason. Improve grammar (tense and article use), make the sentence structure clearer and slightly shorter. Use a linking phrase such as 'because' then one specific example. Avoid overlong phrases like 'one part of the day always'.

Ejemplo: Yes, I do. Because I work with children, we spend part of each day outdoors doing activities such as bike riding and playing tag, which I really enjoy.

Sugerencia: Answer directly (Yes/No) then support briefly. Fix fragmented sentence and incomplete ending. Use specific details and correct phrasing (e.g. 'we have a good number of parks'). Avoid vague phrases like 'you can just play with'—say what with (friends, children).

Ejemplo: Not really, because we already have a good number of parks in Melbourne. For example, almost every suburb has a playground where children can ride bikes or play with their friends.

Sugerencia: Be clearer and grammatically correct: start with 'Yes' then name the park and give a concise, specific reason. Fix vocabulary and structure (e.g. 'huge slides' -> 'a huge slide', 'that is coming after climbing a wall' -> 'that follows a climbing wall'). Avoid trailing fillers like 'so.'

Ejemplo: Yes. I have a few parks on my wish list, especially Buran Reserve in Caulfield. I want to visit because it has a large slide accessed by a climbing wall, which looks fun and challenging.

× Well I love this question because makes me think about my childhood and honestly one of my best memories is when I was a child and we were living in a unit with a big big park.

✓ Well, I love this question because it makes me think about my childhood, and honestly one of my best memories is when I was a child and we lived in a unit with a very big park.

Missing subject 'it' before 'makes' and awkward redundancy 'we were living' is better as 'we lived' for a simple past narrative; also use a comma after an introductory phrase and avoid repeated 'big big'. Suggestion: add 'it' to complete the clause, use simple past for background events, and reduce repetition.'

× Me and my friends we were always outside playing doing other games.

✓ My friends and I were always outside playing and doing other games.

Using 'Me and my friends we' is ungrammatical and redundant; subject should be 'My friends and I' and the verb should agree. Also connect activities with 'and'. Suggestion: use the correct subject pronoun order and avoid repeating the subject.'

× Yes, I do, especially because I work with kids so we are spending one part of the day always in the outdoors, playing some games like riding bikes or playing tag.

✓ Yes, I do. Especially because I work with kids, we always spend part of the day outdoors playing games like riding bikes or playing tag.

Use simple present 'we always spend' for habitual actions rather than present continuous 'are spending'. 'In the outdoors' is awkward; use 'outdoors'. Also punctuation improves clarity. Suggestion: use simple present for routines and place adverbs ('always') before main verb.'

× In my opinion, we've got. A pretty good quantity of playgrounds here in Melbourne because in every suburb you will find one where you can ride a bike or you can just play with.

✓ In my opinion, we have a pretty good number of playgrounds here in Melbourne because in almost every suburb you can find one where you can ride a bike or just play.

Fragmentation: 'we've got. A pretty good...' should be one sentence. 'Quantity' is awkward for countable 'playgrounds' — use 'number'. 'You will find' is fine but 'you can find' is more natural. 'Play with' is incomplete; use 'play' or 'play there'. Suggestion: combine into one sentence, choose correct quantifier for countable nouns, and complete verbs.'

× Yes, I saved a couple of them on my wish list, specially one in Caulfield.

✓ Yes, I have saved a couple of them on my wish list, especially one in Caulfield.

Use present perfect 'have saved' for past actions with present relevance (items still on wish list). 'Specially' is incorrect; use 'especially'. Suggestion: use present perfect for past actions with current relevance and correct adverb spelling.'

× It is called Buran Reserve and I like it so much because that park got a huge slides that is coming after climbing a wall so.

✓ It is called Buran Reserve, and I like it so much because that park has huge slides that come after a climbing wall.

Colloquial 'got' should be 'has' for possession. 'A huge slides' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'huge slides' or 'a huge slide'. 'That is coming' is wrong tense and agreement; 'that come' matches plural 'slides'. Remove trailing 'so'. Suggestion: use 'has' for possession, match articles and noun number, and ensure verb agreement.'