Parks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more grammatical, avoid filler words, and make sentences concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (e.g., “however,” “so”). Correct tense and phrasing (e.g., “asked my mom,” “the nearest park was two hours away”).

Ejemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I always asked my mom to take me, but the nearest park was two hours from our city, so we only went there rarely.

Sugerencia: Use correct grammar and clearer structure: state your opinion, add a reason, and give a specific example. Avoid repetition and fix articles and verb forms (e.g., “there isn’t any park,” “I miss the parks I visited in Yogyakarta”).

Ejemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax. However, there isn’t a park in my city, so I miss the parks I used to visit in Yogyakarta, where I felt fresh and relaxed after a walk.

Sugerencia: Be concise and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar (e.g., “there aren’t any parks,” “I sometimes go to Tungalong to lie beside the river”). Provide one clear example of what you do in parks.

Ejemplo: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because they provide green spaces for relaxation. Since there aren’t any, I sometimes go to Tungalong to lie beside the river and enjoy the fresh air.

Sugerencia: Organize your response: give a clear topic sentence, then explain why with specific details and avoid fillers. Use correct adjectives and word order (e.g., “a big, futuristic city,” “a technologically advanced park”).

Ejemplo: Yes, I would like to visit the parks in Doha. It is a big, futuristic city and I’ve heard that the government has built technologically advanced parks, which I think would be fascinating to see.

× I always ask my mom to, uh, go to the park.

✓ I always asked my mom to go to the park.

The question refers to childhood (past time), so the verb should be in the past tense. 'Ask' is present; change to 'asked' to match 'when I was a child.' Suggestion: use past tense consistently when describing past routines.

× But unfortunately the park is 2 hours for my city, so I need, uh, it takes time.

✓ But unfortunately the park is two hours from my city, so it takes time to get there.

The original mixes phrases and uses incorrect preposition 'for' and awkward structure 'I need, it takes time.' Use 'from' to indicate distance and a clear clause 'it takes time to get there.' Spell out numbers in formal speech if possible.

× There aren't any park in my city so I missed going to the park when I was in Yogyakarta.

✓ There aren't any parks in my city, so I miss going to the park when I was in Yogyakarta.

Two issues: 'park' should be plural 'parks' after 'any.' The clause 'I missed going to the park when I was in Yogyakarta' mixes past and present feelings; if current feeling, use 'I miss.' If referring to past, keep 'missed' and clarify timeframe. Here likely present missing, so use 'miss.' Also add comma before coordinating conjunction 'so.'

× I feel fresh and relaxed when time going I I go to the park.

✓ I feel fresh and relaxed when I go to the park.

The original contains extra words 'time going' and duplicated 'I.' Simplify to correct present simple conditional: 'when I go.' Use present tense to describe habitual feeling.

× Yes, I would if there are any parks in my city, but unfortunately there aren't any park in my city.

✓ Yes, I would if there were any parks in my city, but unfortunately there aren't any parks in my city.

Use plural 'parks' after 'any.' Additionally, the hypothetical clause after 'I would' should use subjunctive/past form 'were' for hypothetical present situations: 'if there were any parks.' Keep 'there aren't any parks' to state current reality.

× So yeah, I sometimes go to the Tung, go to Tungalong to see the park and lying down, uh, beside the river and enjoying the air.

✓ So yeah, I sometimes go to Tung or Tungalong to see the park, lie down beside the river, and enjoy the air.

Parallel verb forms are required: use base verbs 'lie down' and 'enjoy' to match 'go.' 'Lying down' and 'enjoying' create a nonparallel structure. Also clarify place names and join with 'or' if alternatives. Remove filler words.

× I really, really want to go to Doha because I think in Doha there, uh, there is a big city and futuristic and the government built a park with a technology.

✓ I really want to go to Doha because I think Doha is a big, futuristic city and the government has built a park with advanced technology.

The original is redundant and has awkward phrasing. Use 'Doha is a big, futuristic city' (adjective order: size then adjective) and present perfect 'has built' to indicate a recent or existing action. 'With a technology' is incorrect; use 'with advanced technology.' Remove duplicate 'there.'

× So I really want to go there because, yeah, it's, uh, sounds sophisticated.

✓ So I really want to go there because it sounds sophisticated.

Do not combine 'it's' and 'sounds' together; choose one structure. 'It sounds' is present simple and correct to describe the impression. Remove fillers and contractions for clarity.