Parks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be direct and clear. Start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and repetition. Use precise vocabulary (e.g. playground).

Ejemplo: I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went with my friends to the playground where we played on swings and climbed on the jungle gym, which was my favourite part of the afternoon.

Sugerencia: Answer directly first (Yes/No) then explain briefly with clear reasons and a linking word (because, but). Be specific about location and feelings, eliminate hesitation words.

Ejemplo: Not really, because there aren't any parks near my house, so I usually walk around my neighbourhood instead. However, when I do visit a park, I find it very relaxing because of the quiet and greenery.

Sugerencia: Give a clear affirmative/negative response, then provide two concise, specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, and). Use correct words (replace 'fabrics' with 'factories' or 'busy areas' if intended) and avoid repetition.

Ejemplo: Yes, definitely, because my town has many busy industrial areas and parks would provide quiet spaces for people to relax and breathe fresh air. Also, the trees and green spaces would improve the atmosphere and people's wellbeing.

Sugerencia: Start with a clear statement of your intention, then give a concise, specific reason using linking words (because, when). Avoid contradictory time references; if you already visited, describe what you liked, or if you plan to visit, explain why you want to go. Reduce fillers.

Ejemplo: I want to visit Central Park again because when I went earlier this year I enjoyed the lively atmosphere and people exercising and relaxing. I would like to experience that energy and walk the trails and lakes more slowly next time.

× So I wouldn't say that they liked it 'cause when I was a child, I just liked to go with my friends outside and, uh, play different stuff in like, umm, uh, kids, kids yards or how do you call it?

✓ So I wouldn't say that I liked it, because when I was a child I just liked to go outside with my friends and play different games in children's playgrounds.

Original sentence uses 'they liked it' which misrefers to the speaker (pronoun error). Also 'kids, kids yards' is nonstandard; use 'children's playgrounds' or 'playgrounds'. Suggest using consistent first-person pronouns and standard vocabulary; remove filler words and casual contractions for clearer grammar.

× I think no 'cause umm, usually I go out outside, uh, around my house and near nearby my house there is no parks.

✓ I don't think so, because I usually go outside around my house and there are no parks near my house.

Problems: 'I think no' is unnatural—use 'I don't think so'; 'go out outside' is redundant; 'near nearby my house' is incorrect phrasing; 'there is no parks' has article/number issue but primary is preposition use. Suggest simplifying prepositional phrases: 'around my house' and 'near my house' and correct existential phrase to 'there are no parks'.

× So basically I don't go off in there.

✓ So basically I don't go there.

Phrase 'go off in there' is incorrect for meaning 'go to that place'. This is an issue with verb and existential structure; use simple 'go there'. Keep verbs direct and avoid unnecessary particles.

× But when I was there, I think it's really umm, relaxing.

✓ But when I was there, I thought it was really relaxing.

Mixes past ('when I was there') with present tense 'I think' and present 'it's'. Maintain past tense consistency: use 'I thought' and 'it was' to refer to past experience.

× Oh of course, 'cause in my town we usually we have so many fabrics and parks are the places where there is no noise when people are just relaxing, breathing fresh air.

✓ Oh, of course, because in my town we usually have many factories, and parks are places with little noise where people can relax and breathe fresh air.

Original uses 'we usually we have' (redundant pronoun) and 'fabrics' (wrong word — likely 'factories'); 'there is no noise' is absolute and unnatural. Correct pronoun usage and choose correct noun ('factories'), and use 'places with little noise' for natural phrasing.

× And because of the many trees, it makes umm relax. It makes atmosphere so relaxing.

✓ And because of the many trees, it is relaxing. It makes the atmosphere very pleasant.

'Makes relax' is incorrect verb/adverb usage; use 'is relaxing' or 'makes me feel relaxed'. Also 'It makes atmosphere so relaxing' lacks article and uses awkward adverb; add 'the' and use 'very pleasant' or 'so relaxing' correctly.

× I would like to go to the Central Park in New York City 'cause when I was there, umm, in this year, I felt that people are going there to hang out and to relax.

✓ I would like to go to Central Park in New York City, because when I was there this year, I felt that people go there to hang out and relax.

'The Central Park' unnecessary article; 'in this year' should be 'this year'; mixing past 'when I was there' with present progressive 'are going' is inconsistent. Use simple present 'go' for habitual actions observed and keep past time reference 'this year'.

× I saw people who umm, just running with the crowds and it has some energy that.

✓ I saw people just running with the crowds, and it had a lot of energy.

Original sentence mixes tenses and has awkward relative clause 'people who just running'. Use past tense 'running' as participle without 'who' or change to 'people who were just running'. 'It has some energy that' is incomplete and unclear; use 'it had a lot of energy' to match past reference.