Parks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Shorten redundant phrasing, use clear tense and link ideas. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repeating 'used to' excessively and correct grammar (e.g., 'they are my best memories' → 'they are my best memories' or 'they are some of my best memories').

Ejemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. After school my friends and I would cycle to the nearby park, where we played football and tag every evening. Those regular gatherings are some of my best childhood memories.

Sugerencia: Be concise and avoid filler words (uh, um). Use a clear time contrast link (however, although) and correct word choices ('younger' is incorrect here). Provide one specific example of a recent visit. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but because of my busy work schedule I rarely go during the week. However, I try to visit on weekends—for example, last Saturday my friends and I held a small picnic in the park.

Sugerencia: Clarify and organize your reasons. Begin with a direct answer, then give specific reasons using linking words (because, therefore). Avoid unclear words ('chocolate' seems incorrect) and reduce hesitations. Provide one concrete consequence of more parks.

Ejemplo: Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in the city because rapid urban construction has reduced green areas and increased pollution. More parks would improve air quality and provide safe outdoor spaces for families.

Sugerencia: Remove fillers and be specific about what attracts you. Start with a clear topic sentence and then give two specific features (e.g., playgrounds, events) that make the park appealing. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

Ejemplo: Yes, there is a large place called City Park that I want to visit. I saw it on Instagram and it looks great because it has a large playground and regular family events for children, so I hope to take my niece there soon.

× And it has been it is very best memories of my life.

✓ And those are some of the best memories of my life.

The original mixes present perfect ('has been') and present ('is') and uses singular 'it' with plural 'memories'. Use present simple 'are' to describe lasting memories and plural demonstrative 'those'. This corrects tense consistency and subject-number agreement. Suggestion: keep subject and verb number consistent and avoid mixing tenses when describing general facts.

× Yes, I love going to parks uh, as uh, as I became younger but due to my busy work schedule and home jobs, I don't have enough time to visit the park.

✓ Yes, I love going to parks, but since I became older and due to my busy work schedule and household responsibilities, I don't have enough time to visit parks.

Use 'became older' not 'became younger' to refer to aging. 'Home jobs' is nonstandard; 'household responsibilities' fits better. Maintain present tense 'love' and present simple for habitual lack of time. Also keep plural 'parks' consistent. Suggestion: choose appropriate words for aging and common expressions for household duties.

× But I make sure on weekends I plan some uh, Kitty party in the park with my friends and I we go with.

✓ But I make sure that on weekends I plan a kitty party in the park with my friends, and we go together.

Original lacks connector 'that', has article error 'some Kitty party' and an extra pronoun 'I we go with'. Correct by adding 'that', using 'a kitty party', and ending with 'we go together' to express accompaniment. Suggestion: include necessary conjunctions and avoid redundant pronouns.

× In the future, I will definitely want to see more parks in the city because currently due to the urban constructions, uh, they are, uh, cutting these lot of deforestation and, uh, uh, chocolate, uh, society with more environment, with more pollution.

✓ In the future, I would definitely like to see more parks in the city because currently, due to urban construction, there is a lot of deforestation and increasing pollution.

Use 'would like' or 'will' for future preference; 'would like' is more natural. 'Urban constructions' should be 'urban construction' or 'development'. Replace awkward phrasing 'they are cutting these lot of deforestation' with 'there is a lot of deforestation'. Remove meaningless word 'chocolate' and unclear phrases. Suggestion: simplify and use standard collocations like 'deforestation' and 'increasing pollution'.

× Uh, yes, uh, actually there is one biggest park, uh, known as, uh, City Park, uh, which I have, which I have seen on the, uh, Instagram that it has many, uh, unique activities for kids and they also organize, uh, games.

✓ Yes, actually there is one of the biggest parks, called City Park, which I have seen on Instagram; it has many unique activities for kids and they also organize games.

Use 'one of the biggest parks' for correct comparison and count. 'Known as' is okay but 'called' is simpler. Remove repeated 'which I have'. 'On the Instagram' should be 'on Instagram'. The clause structure is tightened and past participle issues avoided by correct phrasing. Suggestion: avoid repetition and use standard expressions like 'one of the biggest parks' and 'seen on Instagram'.