Parks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid redundant words, and use linking phrase for supporting details. Also correct pronouns and verb agreement. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. Every evening my neighbor and I would play there, have small picnics and chat, which made those visits very memorable.

Sugerencia: Use present tense and clear reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "a lot of works" and incorrect tense shifts. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and give a concise reason and a brief consequence.

Ejemplo: Not really. I prefer staying home now because my school gives me a lot of assignments, so I often need to study and don't have time to visit parks.

Sugerencia: Make a direct answer then give two specific reasons using linking words like "because" or "for example." Avoid run-on sentences and improve vocabulary (e.g., "construction" singular/plural, "malls").

Ejemplo: Yes, I would. I love nature and parks offer a quiet place to relax, and because developers often prioritize buildings and malls, more parks would improve residents' quality of life.

Sugerencia: Be precise and avoid repetition. Start with a direct sentence naming the park and where it is, then give a specific reason why you want to visit. Check factual details (park name) and reduce uncertainty language.

Ejemplo: Yes. I would love to visit the park called Gyoen (for example, Shinjuku Gyoen) in Tokyo because it is famous for its beautiful gardens and seasonal cherry blossoms, which I would like to see in person.

× As a child I do enjoy going to the park and I remember that when I was younger me and my neighbor used to go to the park every evening to play and have a small picnic and girls talk.

✓ As a child I enjoyed going to the park, and I remember that when I was younger my neighbor and I used to go to the park every evening to play, have a small picnic, and talk.

The student mixed present tense 'do enjoy' with past context 'As a child' and used incorrect pronoun order 'me and my neighbor.' Change to past tense 'enjoyed' for consistency with 'As a child,' reorder pronouns to 'my neighbor and I' for subject case, and use parallel structure for the list of activities. Use commas to separate items. Suggestions: Use past tense when referring to past habitual actions, place the first person last in compound subjects, and keep list items parallel.

× I don't think so because as I grow up I got more lazy and I also have a lot of works to do nowadays since my school's been giving me a lot of school works which requires me to stay home much often than before, so I didn't have enough time to go to the park.

✓ I don't think so because as I grew up I became lazier, and I also have a lot of work to do nowadays since my school has been giving me many assignments that require me to stay home more often than before, so I don't have enough time to go to the park.

Mixed tenses and incorrect word forms: 'as I grow up' should be past 'as I grew up' when referring to change over time; 'got more lazy' should be 'became lazier'; 'works' is incorrect for uncountable 'work' or 'assignments'; 'school's been giving me a lot of school works' is redundant and ungrammatical; 'requires' must agree with plural 'assignments' so use 'require'; 'much often' is incorrect collocation -> 'more often'; 'so I didn't have' conflicts with present context -> 'so I don't have.' Suggestions: Keep tense consistent, use correct countability for 'work' or use 'assignments,' ensure subject-verb agreement, and use standard adverbial phrases ('more often').

× I do like to see more parks in my city since I love nature and I enjoy going to the park whenever I'm out I'm free and also I feel like nowadays people often neglect parks and instead they build a lot of constructions and mall so want them to focus more on parks.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city since I love nature, and I enjoy going to the park whenever I have free time. I also feel that nowadays people often neglect parks and instead build many buildings and malls, so I want them to focus more on parks.

Problems: 'I do like to see' is awkward; use 'I would like to see' for politeness/wishing. 'Whenever I'm out I'm free' is ungrammatical -> 'whenever I have free time.' 'A lot of constructions and mall' incorrect plural and word choice -> 'many buildings and malls.' Missing subject 'I' before 'want them' and run-on sentence; split into two sentences. Suggestions: Use natural modal phrasing 'would like,' express 'free time,' use correct countable nouns and plural forms, and break long run-on sentences into clearer sentences.

× There is a park I do want to go in the future if I have a chance.

✓ There is a park I would like to visit in the future if I have a chance.

Use of 'do want to go' is awkward in this context; 'would like to visit' is the correct polite future desire. Also 'go in the future' is better as 'visit in the future.' Suggestions: Use 'would like to' for wishes about the future and 'visit' for places.

× However the park isn't located in Thailand, instead it is in Japan, Tokyo which is way far from where I live.

✓ However, the park isn't located in Thailand; instead it is in Tokyo, Japan, which is very far from where I live.

Word order and punctuation: 'Japan, Tokyo' is reversed; standard is 'Tokyo, Japan.' 'Way far' is informal/incorrect; use 'very far.' Missing commas around the nonrestrictive clause 'which is very far from where I live.' Suggestions: Use correct place name order 'City, Country,' prefer 'very far' in formal speech, and punctuate nonrestrictive clauses with commas.

× So I don't know if I could have a chance to visit there in the future or not.

✓ So I don't know if I will have a chance to visit there in the future or not.

Modal verb and tense: 'could have a chance' implies conditional past ability; for future uncertainty use 'will have a chance.' Suggestions: Use 'will' or 'might' for future possibility ('I don't know if I will have a chance' or 'I don't know if I will be able to visit').

× And the park is called GPS.

✓ The park is called GPS.

Beginning a sentence with 'And' is informal; simply state 'The park is called GPS.' Also ensure that the name is presented clearly. Suggestions: Avoid starting sentences with coordinating conjunctions in formal responses; be concise.