Parks— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more natural and grammatically correct: start with a clear topic sentence, then add a specific supporting detail. Avoid tense errors and redundancy. Use linking words if you add details.

Ejemplo: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my parents and siblings, and we would play games like tag or have small picnics together, which made those visits very memorable.

Sugerencia: Clarify meaning (likely meant 'parks' not 'Paris') and avoid repetition. Give one concise reason and a specific example. Use a linking word to connect points.

Ejemplo: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially now that I have children. For example, we often bring a picnic blanket and sandwiches, and the kids play on the grass while we relax.

Sugerencia: Make a clear main sentence then support with specific details. Fix grammar and finish the sentence. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and name specific amenities.

Ejemplo: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they give families more options for leisure. For instance, additional parks with swings, playgrounds, and picnic shelters would be very useful for parents with young children.

Sugerencia: Be concise and avoid fillers like 'uh'. State a clear preference and give a specific example of the type of park and activities you want. Use linking words such as 'so that' appropriately.

Ejemplo: Yes, I would like to visit parks with large open lawns and adventure playgrounds in the future so that my children can explore safely. For example, I hope to take them to a nature reserve with walking trails and climbing structures.

× Yes, when I was a kid, that's the time where I am with my family and play together in the park.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid, that was when I was with my family and played together in the park.

Tense and 'there/that' usage: The student mixes present tense ('am', 'play') with a past time reference ('when I was a kid'). Use past tense for consistency. Also 'that's the time where' is unnatural; 'that was when' is the correct phrase to refer to a past period. Suggestion: maintain past tense throughout the sentence when referring to childhood.

× Yes, I really love going to Paris now, especially that I have kids and that's the time we can eat, picnic and eat together.

✓ Yes, I really love going to parks now, especially because I have kids and now we can picnic and eat together.

Word choice and tense usage: The student wrote 'Paris' likely meaning 'parks'; 'especially that I have kids' is incorrect structure — use 'especially because'. Repetition of 'eat' is redundant; 'picnic and eat together' is better expressed as 'picnic together'. Maintain present tense 'love' and use 'now' appropriately. Suggestion: use clear conjunctions like 'because' and avoid repetition.

× Yes, of course since I have kids there are more choices to go and visit with and choices to play like swing and other rest amenities in the.

✓ Yes, of course. Since I have kids, there are more places to visit and more play options like swings and other facilities in the parks.

Run-on and word order: The sentence is long, unpunctuated and has unclear phrases ('choices to go and visit with', 'rest amenities in the.'). 'Swing' should be plural 'swings'; 'rest amenities' is unnatural — use 'facilities'. Add commas and split clauses for clarity. Suggestion: break into shorter clauses, use plural nouns for countable items and choose natural collocations like 'play options' and 'facilities'.

× Yes, since I have children and young ones, I would like to see uh, other parks in the future so that they can explore and play around with other green grass and outdoor activities.

✓ Yes, since I have young children, I would like to visit other parks in the future so that they can explore and play on the grass and enjoy outdoor activities.

Redundancy and preposition use: 'children and young ones' is redundant—use 'young children'. 'See other parks' is better as 'visit other parks'. 'Play around with other green grass' is ungrammatical; use 'play on the grass'. Also simplify 'play around with' to 'play' and 'outdoor activities' is fine. Suggestion: avoid redundancy, choose correct verbs ('visit') and appropriate prepositions ('on the grass').