Hobby— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hobbies, avoid filler words (umm, uh), correct collocations (e.g., “unwind” or “recharge” rather than “maintain my heartbeat”), and keep to 2–4 sentences. Use one linking phrase to add a reason or example.

Ejemplo: I have a few hobbies, mainly listening to music and cooking. I enjoy music because it helps me relax after a busy day, and cooking lets me try new recipes and de-stress. For example, I often make a simple dinner while listening to jazz to unwind.

Sugerencia: Improve grammar, clarity and coherence. Use past tense correctly for childhood (e.g., “I had”), avoid hesitation, and finish your thought. Give a clear reason or example of how the hobby helped you using a linking word (e.g., “because” or “so”). Limit to 2–3 concise sentences.

Ejemplo: Yes, I had several hobbies when I was a child, and I especially enjoyed doing math problems. I often used my free time to solve puzzles because it improved my problem-solving skills, so I felt more confident at school.

Sugerencia: Clarify the timeline and use correct tenses. Begin with a direct topic sentence (“Yes, I have listened to music since childhood.”), avoid fillers, and express reasons with linking words (e.g., “because” and “so”). Mention specific types or artists to add detail.

Ejemplo: Yes, I have listened to music since I was a child. I started listening to music when I was ill because it comforted me, and I still use music to relax after busy days; for example, I often play classical or lo-fi tracks to concentrate or unwind.

Sugerencia: Make the contrast clearer and use natural expressions. Start with a direct statement about similarity, then explain using linking words like “because” or “while.” Replace awkward phrases (“refer to do physical activities”) with natural ones (“prefer physical activities”). Give a brief example of their activities versus yours.

Ejemplo: No, my hobbies are different from my family’s. While my parents and brothers prefer physical activities like hiking and cycling, I prefer listening to music because it helps me relax and feel at ease after a long day.

× I think umm having a hobby will have us relax and recharge our energy after hectic working days.

✓ I think having a hobby will help us relax and recharge our energy after hectic working days.

The phrase 'will have us relax' uses 'have' incorrectly. Native-like expression is 'help us relax' or 'make us relax.' This is not a past participle issue strictly, but it matches verb form misuse; 'help' plus base verb is correct. Suggestion: use 'help us relax' or 'allow us to relax.'

× So I always try to maintain my heartbeat, umm, every single day.

✓ So I always try to maintain a steady heartbeat every single day.

'Maintain my heartbeat' is awkward; 'steady heartbeat' or 'my heart rate' is more natural. Place modifiers ('every single day') at the end. Suggestion: use 'maintain a steady heartbeat' or 'keep my heart rate steady.'

× I definitely have various hobbies when I were young, but I love umm, doing math, uh, when I have free time.

✓ I definitely had various hobbies when I was young, but I loved doing math when I had free time.

Tense mismatch and subject-verb agreement: 'were' should be 'was' with singular 'I' in past tense. Consistent past tense required for childhood: 'had' and 'was' and 'loved.' Suggestion: keep past tense for past situations.

× It's so weird because uh, I study when I were I when I have free time, but it's helped me improve my skill and I decided when I saw a.

✓ It's so strange because I studied when I had free time; it helped me improve my skills, and I decided to continue when I saw progress.

Original sentence has multiple structure errors: wrong tense ('were' -> 'had'), incorrect clause order and missing words. Also 'it's helped' should be 'it helped' for past narration, and 'skill' should be plural 'skills.' Suggestion: simplify into clear clauses and keep tense consistent.

× Of course I started listening to music, it's a hobby when I was sick and I keep it a halfway until now because listening to music help me and wind myself after, uh, hectic working days.

✓ Of course I started listening to music; it became a hobby when I was sick, and I have kept it up until now because listening to music helps me unwind after hectic working days.

Tense and verb form errors: 'it's a hobby' -> 'it became a hobby' for past origin; 'keep it a halfway' is ungrammatical — use 'kept it up' or 'have kept it up'; 'help me and wind myself' should be 'helps me unwind.' Suggestion: use present perfect 'have kept' for actions continuing to present and 'helps' for habitual present.

× So, uh, I love to listen, umm, many types of music and I have.

✓ So I love to listen to many types of music, and I still do.

Missing object/completion and preposition: 'listen to' requires 'to.' Also sentence unfinished; complete with 'I still do.' Suggestion: always include 'to' after 'listen' and finish the idea.

× I think I don't have any hobbies the same as my family, parents and brothers because they refer to do physical activities but I don't like.

✓ I don't have the same hobbies as my family, parents, and brothers because they prefer physical activities, but I don't.

Article and phrasing issues: 'hobbies the same as' -> 'the same hobbies as'; 'refer to do' is incorrect — use 'prefer' or 'tend to do.' Also trailing 'I don't like' incomplete; shorten to 'but I don't.' Suggestion: use 'prefer physical activities' and complete contrasts.

× I just want to enjoy my music world and move myself and the music and just relax and feel at ease.

✓ I just want to enjoy my world of music, move with the music, and just relax and feel at ease.

Awkward pronoun/reflexive use: 'move myself and the music' is incorrect; use 'move with the music.' Reorder noun phrase to 'world of music.' Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'world of music' and 'move with the music.'