Hobby— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Reduce pauses and filler words (umm). Use correct verb forms and plural/singular forms (e.g., “I have many hobbies” / “my favorite hobby is drawing”).

Ejemplo: My favorite hobby is drawing. It helps me relax and stay calm when I’m stressed, and I often use it to express my emotions, such as anger or sadness. For example, I draw landscapes when I feel peaceful and use bold strokes when I feel upset.

Sugerencia: Use past tense consistently and avoid repetition. Give a clear topic sentence about childhood hobbies, then one or two specific details and a linking word to connect ideas. Avoid vague claims like “train my brain” without an example.

Ejemplo: Yes. As a child, I enjoyed playing board games and online video games with my friends. Playing strategy games, for instance, helped me think critically and improved my problem-solving skills.

Sugerencia: Keep verbs and time references correct (e.g., “I have loved making art since childhood”). Present a clear topic sentence, then specific supporting detail such as how your art expresses emotion and your aim for viewers. Remove hesitations and repeat phrases.

Ejemplo: Yes, I have loved making art since I was a child. I use drawing to express my emotions, and I hope my drawings can cheer people up or inspire them to feel happier.

Sugerencia: Answer directly and compare clearly. Start with a topic sentence stating whether hobbies are the same, then compare with specific differences using linking words (e.g., “however”, “while”). Avoid vague phrases and filler words.

Ejemplo: Yes, my mother and I both enjoy art, but we work in different ways. While she makes handmade crafts, I prefer pen-and-ink drawing; both forms are artistic, but they express emotions in different styles.

× Yes I do I have a lot of hobby but the most hobbies that I like is drawing.

✓ Yes, I do. I have a lot of hobbies, but the hobby I like the most is drawing.

The student used singular 'hobby' after 'a lot of' and mismatched 'most hobbies' with singular verb 'is'. Use plural 'hobbies' with 'a lot of', and use the phrase 'the hobby I like the most' to refer to a single favorite; match subject and verb (hobby ... is). Also add commas and periods for clarity.

× I think drawing can make me feel more comfortable and it can make me stay calm when I feel really stressed and umm I think umm drawing can make me have can feel like express my emotional even when I angry or sad.

✓ I think drawing makes me feel more comfortable and helps me stay calm when I feel stressed. I also think drawing helps me express my emotions when I am angry or sad.

Multiple issues: unnecessary wordiness and incorrect phrasing 'make me have can feel like express my emotional'. Use verbs directly ('drawing makes', 'helps me express') and correct noun 'emotions'. Use 'am' with 'angry' for correct verb 'to be' and remove redundant 'really' or 'umm' in formal responses.

× So it was really.

✓ So it really helps me.

The original sentence is incomplete and lacks a clear verb or object. Provide a complete clause that refers back to drawing ('it really helps me'). This fixes the sentence structure and completes the thought.

× I do have a lot of hobbies.

✓ I have a lot of hobbies.

'I do have' is grammatically acceptable but unnecessary in a simple statement. Use simple present 'I have' for a natural answer to the question. No tense change needed beyond simplification.

× When I was a child, I really like to play board game or video game, like online video game with my friends.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked to play board games and video games, like online video games, with my friends.

Talking about childhood requires past tense 'liked' not 'like'. Use plural 'board games' and 'video games' when speaking generally. Add commas for clarity.

× Like when I was a kid, I have a lot of friends and I really love playing video game 'cause it was really excited and it can train my brain and make me more smarter, make me smarter.

✓ When I was a kid, I had a lot of friends and I really loved playing video games because they were really exciting. They could train my brain and make me smarter.

Shift verbs to past tense ('had', 'loved', 'were') to match 'when I was a kid'. Use plural 'video games' and correct adjective use: 'exciting' not 'excited'. Do not use 'more smarter' — use 'smarter' only. Use 'they' to refer back to plural 'video games' and modal 'could' for past ability.

× I love making art when I was a child and it still like I still love to making art it because it can express my emotional and I think I can.

✓ I loved making art when I was a child and I still love making art because it can express my emotions.

Use past tense 'loved' for childhood, then 'still love' for present continuation. Use 'making art' (not 'to making'), and 'express my emotions' (plural noun). Remove the fragment 'and I think I can' which is unclear; if the student means influence others, rephrase specifically.

× I hope that my my drawing can umm make and motivate everyone to be more happy.

✓ I hope that my drawings can motivate everyone to be happier.

Use plural 'drawings' if referring to work in general. Use 'motivate' without 'make and motivate'. Use comparative/adjective 'happier' rather than 'more happy'. Remove duplicate 'my'.

× Yeah my mom umm also is a artist for making like handmade art but for me I prefer more to like using a pen for drawing.

✓ Yes, my mom is also an artist who makes handmade art, but I prefer using a pen for drawing.

Use 'an artist' not 'a artist'. Use 'who makes' to describe the mother. Remove filler words and 'prefer more to like' — say 'I prefer using a pen'.

× So those are like 2 art but it's saying it's just the same.

✓ So those are two kinds of art, but they are similar.

Replace '2 art' with 'two kinds of art' and fix pronoun/verb agreement: 'they are similar' rather than vague 'it's saying it's just the same'. This corrects structure and clarity.

× But I think those who are can like umm express different emotional.

✓ But I think they can express different emotions.

The phrase 'those who are can like' is ungrammatical. Use 'they' to refer to the different art forms and 'express different emotions' with plural 'emotions'. Remove filler words.