Memory— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: 문장 구조와 발음(중복된 단어 제거)을 개선하세요. 주제문을 분명히 하고, supporting detail 을 논리적으로 연결하세요. 예를 들어 ‘I try to remember important things’ 다음에 구체적인 예(예: appointments, names)를 제시하고 연결어(for example, such as)를 사용하세요. 또한 ‘person's comment and other people's thinking’처럼 모호한 표현 대신 구체적 대상(예: teachers’ feedback, colleagues’ opinions)을 사용하세요.

Ejemplo: Yes, I think I'm good at memorising. For example, I make an effort to remember appointments and colleagues' feedback, so I can respond appropriately at work.

Sugerencia: 문법(시제와 관사)과 문장 연결을 다듬으세요. 실수한 경험을 말할 때는 사건의 시간, 상황, 결과를 순서대로 간단히 설명하세요. 또한 ‘so’ 같은 접속사는 한 번만 사용하고 이유나 감정을 덧붙일 때는 because나 which를 쓰세요.

Ejemplo: Yes. Last year, when I was working at a wedding hall, my supervisor told me an important instruction, but I forgot it, so I felt very sorry and apologised to him.

Sugerencia: 문장이 불분명하고 어색한 어휘 사용을 고치세요. 명확한 주제문을 먼저 말하고 구체적인 이유를 덧붙이세요. 예: ‘I need to remember my supervisor’s instructions because they affect my job performance.’ 불필요한 단어(예: as ready) 는 제거하고 단어 선택을 단순하고 정확하게 하세요.

Ejemplo: These days, I need to remember my supervisor's instructions because they directly affect my job performance at my part-time job.

Sugerencia: 문법(동사 형태, 관사)과 문장 연결을 개선하세요. 방법을 말할 때는 주제문 후에 구체적인 방법(예: use a diary, set phone reminders)과 이유를 연결어(for this reason, therefore)를 사용해 설명하세요. 현재 습관이면 현재형으로 일관되게 말하세요.

Ejemplo: I usually take notes in a diary and set reminders on my phone because I tend to forget things, so these methods help me remember important tasks.

× Yes, I I think I'm good at memorizing because I always try to remember important things, which is person's comment and other people's thinking, so that makes me better.

✓ Yes, I think I'm good at memorizing because I always try to remember important things, such as people's comments and other people's thoughts, which helps me improve.

The sentence has redundant 'I' and incorrect noun phrase 'person's comment' (possessive and singular/plural issues). Replace with 'people's comments' and 'people's thoughts' for clarity. Also rephrase the clause 'so that makes me better' to 'which helps me improve' for correct linking and meaning. Use 'such as' to introduce examples.

× Yes, last year I worked at wedding hall so my supervisor told me a important thing but I forget that so I was very sorry for him.

✓ Yes, last year I worked at a wedding hall, so my supervisor told me an important thing but I forgot it, and I felt very sorry for him.

Tense error: 'forget' should be past 'forgot' to match 'told' and 'worked'. Article errors: 'a wedding hall' and 'an important thing'. Pronoun/object: 'that' better as 'it'. Use 'felt' rather than 'was' to express emotion and add commas for clarity.

× These days I think my supervisor instruction is the most important thing that I could. I should remember because I'm working at a part time job as ready.

✓ These days I think my supervisor's instructions are the most important things I should remember because I'm working a part-time job.

Possessive missing: use 'supervisor's instructions'. Number agreement: 'instructions' plural and 'things' plural. Remove awkward phrase 'that I could' and incorrect 'as ready'. Use 'should remember' and 'working a part-time job' for idiomatic English.

× I feel that I always taking notes on important thing because I tend to forget an important thing.

✓ I feel that I'm always taking notes on important things because I tend to forget them.

Progressive form missing auxiliary: 'taking' requires 'am taking'. Number and article errors: 'important thing' should be plural 'important things' and replace 'an important thing' with pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition.

× So I tried to write down in my diary.

✓ So I tried to write them down in my diary.

Pronoun reference: specify 'them' to refer to 'important things'. 'Write down' is correct but needs an object. The tense 'tried' is correct, so only add the object and keep past tense.