Hometown— Part 1 Informe

Sugerencia: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details linked logically. Avoid redundancy (e.g., repeating length of residence if asked elsewhere) and correct collocations (say "an international financial city").

Ejemplo: I come from Shanghai in China. I’ve lived there all my life. It’s an international financial city with many modern skyscrapers and a diverse workforce.

Sugerencia: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific, coherent reasons using linking words. Avoid vague phrases like "new opinions"; be precise about what you mean. Use a linking phrase such as "for example" or "because" to connect ideas.

Ejemplo: I love Shanghai because it’s very international and culturally open. For example, you can meet people from many countries and try different cuisines, and there are arts and cultural events where people freely share new ideas.

Sugerencia: This answer is clear and concise. To be slightly more natural, you can combine information in one fluid sentence and, if necessary, add a brief reason or feeling using a linking word.

Ejemplo: I’ve lived in Shanghai for 22 years since I was born, so it feels very familiar and like home to me.

Sugerencia: Give a direct topic sentence and then add two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid filler phrases like "and so on"; instead name one or two concrete examples (e.g., startups, internship programs).

Ejemplo: Definitely — Shanghai is a great place for young people because it offers many job opportunities in finance, tech startups and legal services. In addition, there are plenty of internship programs and networking events that help young professionals start their careers.

× It is a financial international city with people with various occupations and modern buildings here.

✓ It is an international financial city with people in various occupations and modern buildings.

Word order for multiple adjectives in English places opinion/description before type; 'international financial' is correct. 'People with various occupations' is awkward; use 'people in various occupations'. Move 'here' or omit it for clarity.

× My hometown is international and open minded, that's why I love it.

✓ My hometown is international and open-minded; that's why I love it.

Compound adjective 'open-minded' needs a hyphen when before or after a noun as a single idea. Also replace comma splice with a semicolon (or separate sentences) to join two independent clauses.

× People from all over the world come to China to work, travel and live, and people with different new opinions can express freely.

✓ People from all over the world come to China to work, travel and live, and people with new and different opinions can express themselves freely.

'Different new opinions' is awkward; use 'new and different opinions' or 'different new' is not natural. Add reflexive pronoun 'themselves' after 'express' as the verb 'express' requires an object in this context.

× Since it is an international city, it offers many job opportunities for various industries, such as finance and the Internet and the law and so on.

✓ Since it is an international city, it offers many job opportunities in various industries, such as finance, the internet, law, and so on.

List items should be separated by commas and use parallel structure. 'The Internet' is fine but lowercase 'internet' is common; avoid repeating 'and'. Use 'in various industries' rather than 'for various industries' for natural collocation.