Swimming— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is natural and enthusiastic with relevant personal detail, but a little repetitive and slightly overlong (5 sentences borderline). To improve, start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concise supporting details using a linking word, and avoid repeating the same idea. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., use 'competitive swimmer' or 'enjoy aquatic sports') and include a brief reason or result to enrich the response.

Example: Yes — I enjoy swimming a lot. I learned to swim as a teenager and even won a high‑school competition, which made me more confident in the water. Because of that experience, I still swim regularly to stay fit and relax.

Suggestion: Good structure with a direct response and a general opinion, but some grammar and word choice errors and slight awkwardness reduce clarity. To improve, use a concise topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., 'depends on' not 'upon', lowercase 'start'), and support with a clear reason using linking words. Keep it to two or three sentences.

Example: It depends on the individual, but I think it's easier to learn when you're young. Because children are less afraid of water, they usually become confident swimmers faster and can handle deeper water more safely.

Suggestion: Your answer gives relevant context, but it is repetitive and has minor errors ('composed of', one 'the'). Improve by giving a concise topic sentence, then list common places with a linking word and one specific example or reason. Avoid repeating 'so' and trim redundancy.

Example: Many people in the Philippines swim in natural and man‑made places. Because we are an archipelago, popular spots include the ocean and beaches, lakes and rivers, and public swimming pools — for example, families often go to coastal resorts on weekends.

Suggestion: You addressed safety clearly, but the answer repeats phrases and sounds informal. Improve by giving a clear topic sentence comparing the two, then add a specific supporting detail (e.g., controlled conditions, currents, saltwater). Use linking words like 'however' or 'in contrast' and avoid overgeneralising that sea swimming requires being 'professional' — instead say 'more experience' or 'training'.

Example: Pool swimming is generally safer because conditions are controlled and lifeguards are present. In contrast, sea swimming requires more experience due to currents, waves and tides, so beginners should only go with supervision or after some training.

× I actually had swimming lessons before, back when I was a teenager, and I won our swimming competition back in high school.

✓ I actually had swimming lessons when I was a teenager, and I won my swimming competition in high school.

Grammar problem type ID:22 Article errors and ID:12 Incorrect use of pronouns. 'Before' is redundant with 'back when'; remove for clarity. 'Our swimming competition' uses a possessive pronoun that is unclear; 'my swimming competition' is more appropriate. Also change 'back in high school' to 'in high school' for natural phrasing.

× So that is something that I'm really proud of about myself.

✓ That is something I am really proud of.

Grammar problem type ID:6 Present tense issue. The original has awkward and unnecessary phrasing 'proud of about myself.' Simplify to 'proud of.' Use consistent present simple 'I am'.

× I am a swimmer and I love swimming so much.

✓ I am a swimmer, and I love swimming very much.

Grammar problem type ID:27 Subject-verb agreement/fluency. 'So much' is conversational but 'very much' is more suitable in formal answers. Add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses.

× It really depends upon the person, but as I can see it's better to Start learning how to swim when you are younger.

✓ It really depends on the person, but I think it's better to start learning to swim when you are younger.

Grammar problem type ID:11 Incorrect use of prepositions and ID:6 Present tense issue. Use 'depends on' not 'depends upon' (both are possible but 'depends on' is idiomatic here). 'As I can see' is unnatural; 'I think' fits. 'Start' should be lower-case. Use 'to start learning to swim' or 'start learning to swim' for correct verb patterns.

× Then you'll be able to be more confident with water and able to swim no matter how deep is it.

✓ Then you'll be more confident in the water and able to swim no matter how deep it is.

Grammar problem type ID:8 Verb + -ing form and ID:11 Preposition issue. Use 'confident in the water' not 'with water.' Remove extra 'be' after 'able to.' Correct word order for questions: 'how deep it is' not 'how deep is it.'

× The Philippines is an archipelago, so we are composed with thousands and thousands of islands.

✓ The Philippines is an archipelago, so it is made up of thousands of islands.

Grammar problem type ID:11 Incorrect use of prepositions and ID:22 Article errors. Use 'it' to refer to the country, not 'we.' 'Composed with' is incorrect; use 'made up of' or 'composed of.' 'Thousands and thousands of islands' is redundant; 'thousands of islands' is sufficient.

× So we are surrounded by bodies of water.

✓ Therefore, it is surrounded by bodies of water.

Grammar problem type ID:12 Incorrect use of pronouns. Maintain consistent reference to the Philippines as 'it' rather than switching to 'we' when describing geography.

× So I believe that in the the Philippines it's good to swim wherever you want, Ocean, sea, lakes, rivers, swimming pool.

✓ So I believe that in the Philippines it's fine to swim wherever you want: the ocean, the sea, lakes, rivers, or a swimming pool.

Grammar problem type ID:22 Article errors and ID:11 Preposition/list punctuation. Remove duplicate 'the the.' Use articles 'the ocean/the sea' and 'a swimming pool.' Use a colon or conjunctions to list items correctly and include 'or' before final item.

× Well, swimming in the pool is generally safer, especially for the young ones.

✓ Well, swimming in a pool is generally safer, especially for young people.

Grammar problem type ID:13 Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and ID:22 Article errors. Use 'a pool' for general statements, not 'the pool.' 'The young ones' is informal; 'young people' is more appropriate.

× And if you are just a starter when it comes to swimming, well, when it comes to swimming at the sea, you have to be professional and you have to have training in doing so.

✓ If you are a beginner at swimming, then swimming in the sea requires more skill and proper training.

Grammar problem type ID:26 Sentence structure errors. Original is repetitive and awkward ('when it comes to swimming' repeated). Replace 'starter' with 'beginner,' and simplify to a clear structure: 'swimming in the sea requires more skill and proper training.'