Science— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Improve clarity and grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), correct verb forms and article use, and reduce redundancy. Use one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Aim for 3–4 concise sentences.

Example: Yes, I do. Science helped me in my veterinary studies because it explains how animals’ bodies work and how to diagnose problems. For example, a practical lab led by my middle-school teacher showed me how to run simple diagnostic tests, which motivated me to pursue veterinary medicine.

Suggestion: Make the timeline clear and use correct tenses and sentence structure. Use linking words (e.g., then, later) and avoid repetition. Provide one concrete example of what you learned early on.

Example: I began learning science in fourth grade at primary school. At first we covered basic topics like plants and simple animal biology, and then the curriculum became more advanced each year. Later I chose the science stream in high school to prepare for veterinary studies.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence naming the subject, then add two specific reasons with linking words. Correct word choice and grammar (e.g., 'interested in', 'helps me understand'). Avoid repetition.

Example: I am most interested in biology because it explains how the body functions and how to treat disorders. For example, studying anatomy helps me identify organs, and physiology explains how those organs work, which is essential for veterinary practice.

Suggestion: Clarify the project details and use precise vocabulary. State your role, the objective, and the result using linking words (for example, so, therefore). Remove vague phrases like 'stringent color'.

Example: In my first year of veterinary school, my classmates and I did a group project to test a chemical reaction. We mixed two solutions to observe a color change, which indicated the presence of a certain compound and helped us understand experimental techniques in biology labs.

Suggestion: State your preference clearly, then give a specific condition when you watch science videos. Use correct verb forms and streamline the sentence. Mention one example of a topic you enjoy watching.

Example: I don't usually watch science programs, but I sometimes watch short science videos on Facebook or TV. For instance, I enjoy watching videos about animal surgeries or explanations of how the body works because they relate to my veterinary interests.

Suggestion: Avoid repetition and speculation. If unsure, give a general, hedged opinion and one logical reason. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'keen to visit' or 'likely to visit') and concise phrasing.

Example: I am not sure about the exact habits of Chinese people, but since China is a developed country with many museums, I think many people are likely to visit science museums for education and family outings.

× Actually, I do for many reasons.

✓ Actually, I do for many reasons.

No grammatical change needed; sentence is short but acceptable. Keep as is.

× One of them it helped me uh, for a veterinary uh, studies as it uh, gives me how it animals body works and how to deal with imbalance.

✓ One of them is that it helped me with veterinary studies because it taught me how an animal's body works and how to deal with imbalances.

Errors: missing connector after 'one of them', incorrect preposition 'for' and plural 'studies', incorrect verb tense/usage 'gives me how it animals body works', missing possessive apostrophe and pluralization issues. Suggestion: include 'is that' to connect the clause, use 'helped me with' + noun phrase, use 'taught me how' for learning, use 'an animal's body' and 'imbalances' plural.

× Uh, Moreover, my science teacher in the middle school, uh, was very engaging and give us a practical diagnostic.

✓ Moreover, my science teacher in middle school was very engaging and gave us practical diagnostics.

Errors: unnecessary article 'the' before 'middle school', subject-verb agreement 'give' should be past 'gave' to match 'was', and 'a practical diagnostic' is awkward — 'practical diagnostics' or 'practical diagnostic activities' is better. Suggestion: match verb tense and use plural noun or clearer noun phrase.

× Actually, I started to learn about science when I was at 4th grade in the primary school.

✓ Actually, I started to learn about science when I was in fourth grade at primary school.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'at' with grade (use 'in'), ordinal format '4th' written as 'fourth', word order 'in the primary school' better as 'at primary school'. Suggestion: use 'in fourth grade' and place 'at primary school' after it.

× Uh, they learned, uh, they taught us about the basic uh, of the sign and we upgrade the upgraded the knowledge year by year until I choose uh, science section in the high school to be a vet, uh, in the future.

✓ They taught us the basics of science, and we upgraded our knowledge year by year until I chose the science stream in high school to become a vet in the future.

Errors: redundant 'they learned, they taught', wrong noun 'sign' should be 'science', incorrect verb forms 'upgrade the upgraded', incorrect pronoun 'we' need possessive 'our', tense mismatch 'choose' should be past 'chose', awkward 'science section' better 'science stream' and 'to be a vet' should be 'to become a vet'. Suggestion: remove redundancy, correct nouns and verbs, and maintain past tense consistency.

× Definitely, def definitely biology subject because it offers, uh, how the body works and how to treat the imbalance of the body by different uh, categories inside the biology like anatomy, Physiology and so on.

✓ Definitely biology because it explains how the body works and how to treat bodily imbalances through different areas of biology like anatomy and physiology.

Errors: repetition 'def definitely', unnecessary word 'subject' after 'biology', awkward 'offers how' should be 'explains how', article and noun phrasing 'the imbalance of the body' better 'bodily imbalances', inconsistent capitalization 'Physiology'. Suggestion: remove filler words, use clearer verbs like 'explains', and keep consistent capitalization.

× So all of that assesses me in veterinary studying so I, I can deal.

✓ All of that helps me in my veterinary studies so I can handle clinical cases.

Errors: 'assesses me' incorrect verb choice; 'veterinary studying' unnatural; repetition 'so I, I'. Suggestion: use 'helps me in my veterinary studies' and a specific outcome like 'handle clinical cases' or 'deal with animals'.

× Well, in my first grade studying veterinary medicine, I and my classmate made a group to make a project.

✓ Well, in my first year studying veterinary medicine, my classmates and I formed a group to do a project.

Errors: 'first grade' should be 'first year' in higher education context, word order 'I and my classmate' should be 'my classmates and I', 'made a group to make a project' awkward — use 'formed a group to do a project'. Suggestion: use natural collocation and correct pronoun order.

× So we added two substance to figure the reaction and we we found a stringent color for reaction that helped us in the biological experiments.

✓ So we added two substances to observe the reaction and we found a distinct color change that helped us in the biological experiments.

Errors: missing plural 'substances', awkward 'to figure the reaction' should be 'to observe the reaction', duplicate 'we we', incorrect adjective 'stringent' (wrong meaning) should be 'distinct' or 'strong', and 'color for reaction' should be 'color change'. Suggestion: use plural nouns, appropriate verbs for experiments, and correct descriptive adjectives.

× Actually, uh, I'm not trying to watching, uh, science TV programs before, but I think if I, uh, when I'm scrolling on the Facebook or on the TV and I found, uh, at an attractive videos, I was watching it, especially if it's related about the animals, uh, or how it, uh, the body works or surgeries.

✓ Actually, I didn't used to watch science TV programs before, but when I'm scrolling on Facebook or TV and I find an attractive video, I watch it, especially if it's about animals, how the body works, or surgeries.

Errors: incorrect progressive/modal 'I'm not trying to watching' should be 'I didn't used to watch' or 'I wasn't used to watching', unnecessary articles 'the Facebook', tense mismatch 'found... I was watching' should be present 'find... I watch', incorrect 'an attractive videos' singular/plural mismatch, awkward 'related about' should be 'about'. Suggestion: use correct past habitual form or simple past, correct article use, and maintain tense consistency.

× Actually, I've, I've, I haven't ever thought about this before.

✓ Actually, I haven't ever thought about this before.

Errors: redundant 'I've, I've', unnecessary contraction duplication. Suggestion: use one correct negative perfect construction.

× Uh, I don't know about the habits of Chinese people if they visit the science, uh, museum or not.

✓ I don't know whether Chinese people visit science museums or not.

Errors: awkward 'know about the habits of Chinese people if they visit', unnecessary article 'the' before 'science museum', singular/plural 'museum' better plural. Suggestion: use 'whether... or not' and pluralize appropriately.

× And, umm, I don't know about if they have Science Museum, but I think the China is, uh, developed country.

✓ And I don't know if they have a science museum, but I think China is a developed country.

Errors: incorrect capitalization 'Science Museum', article missing before 'science museum' ('a science museum'), wrong article before country 'the China' should be 'China', missing article before 'developed country' corrected to 'a developed country'. Suggestion: use proper articles and capitalization rules.

× So I think most of their people will keen.

✓ So I think most of their people will be keen to visit.

Errors: missing verb 'be' in 'will keen', awkward phrase 'most of their people' better 'most people there' or 'most of them'. Suggestion: use 'be keen to' plus verb, or rephrase as 'most people there are likely to be interested'.