Science— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce fillers and repeated words.

Example: Yes, I like science. I studied the science stream from grade 9 through college, majoring in Computer Science and Engineering, and I now teach that subject, which keeps me engaged with scientific topics.

Suggestion: Give a clear timeline and use linking words to show progression. Avoid simple repetition of 'I choose' and improve grammar (past tense).

Example: I started learning science in ninth grade when I chose the science stream. For four years I studied biology, physics, chemistry and advanced mathematics; later I majored in computer science at university because I was interested in programming and technology.

Suggestion: Avoid hesitation and repetition. Begin with a direct answer and give one concise reason with an example. Use consistent grammar and fewer fillers like 'uh' and repeated phrases.

Example: I find mathematics most interesting because I was good at it in school and it is fundamental to computer science; for example, algorithms and data structures rely heavily on mathematical thinking.

Suggestion: Structure answer with a topic sentence and two specific examples linked logically. Avoid minor inaccuracies (e.g., 'chemical reaction dissections' is confusing) and choose precise vocabulary.

Example: At university I did practical lab work, such as dissecting specimens to understand anatomy, which made theory tangible. Later I studied computer science and completed programming projects that improved my problem-solving and creative skills.

Suggestion: Be concise and correct minor grammar (e.g., 'a documentaries' -> 'documentaries'). Give one or two specific examples of programs or topics and use linking words for clarity.

Example: Yes, I enjoy science TV programs and podcasts in my free time. For example, I watch documentaries about space exploration and listen to podcasts about AI to both relax and keep up with developments in my field.

Suggestion: Avoid hedging language like 'maybe' and 'I think' at the start; present a clear opinion with a reason and a specific example. Reduce filler words and finish sentences clearly.

Example: Yes, I believe many Chinese people visit science museums because the education system emphasizes STEM subjects; for instance, popular exhibits on inventions and technology attract school groups and families.

× Yes, I like science because I was a student of science when I I I was in class 9.

✓ Yes, I like science because I was a science student when I was in class 9.

Redundant words and awkward phrasing: repeated 'I' should be removed and 'a student of science' is more naturally 'a science student'. The sentence uses past tense appropriately; simplification improves clarity.

× After that for for next four years I studied science and in my bachelors I also studied computer science and engineering as my major and currently I'm teaching this subject.

✓ After that, for the next four years I studied science, and in my bachelor's I majored in computer science and engineering; currently I'm teaching this subject.

Errors: repeated word 'for', missing possessive apostrophe in 'bachelor's', and awkward verb phrase 'studied ... as my major' should be 'majored in'. Tenses are past for study and present for current teaching; punctuation helps clarity.

× I first started studying science in 9th grade when I choose science stream.

✓ I first started studying science in 9th grade when I chose the science stream.

Verb tense error: 'choose' is present, but the action occurred in the past, so use past 'chose'. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'science stream' for natural English.

× So I had to study biology, physics, chemistry and advanced mathematics.

✓ So I had to study biology, physics, chemistry, and advanced mathematics.

Comma missing before 'and' in a list (Oxford comma) is optional but improves clarity; otherwise sentence is grammatically correct. No tense issue.

× I studied those subjects for four years and later I choose computer science as my major at university because I was interested in programming and technology.

✓ I studied those subjects for four years, and later I chose computer science as my major at university because I was interested in programming and technology.

Tense inconsistency: 'choose' should be past 'chose' to match 'studied' and 'later'. Commas improve readability.

× Uh, for me, when I was student at the time, I found mathematics as interesting just because I was quite good at mathematics at the time.

✓ Uh, for me, when I was a student, I found mathematics interesting because I was quite good at it.

Missing article 'a' before 'student'. 'Found mathematics as interesting' is incorrect; use 'found mathematics interesting'. Repetition 'at the time' is redundant; replace second 'mathematics' with pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition.

× And after that, after that, I started computer science as well, where mathematics is the main subjects there in, uh, CSE and the CSC is based on the core mathematics.

✓ After that, I studied computer science as well, where mathematics is a main subject in CSE, and CS is based on core mathematics.

Redundancy 'after that, after that' should be single. 'Started computer science' is informal; 'studied' fits better. Subject-verb and article issues: 'the main subjects' should be 'a main subject' (singular), remove extra 'there in'. Abbreviation 'CSC' likely wrong — use 'CS' or 'CSE' consistently; simplified to 'CS'.

× That's why I love math, uh.

✓ That's why I love math.

No major grammar error besides filler 'uh' which should be removed in corrected sentence.

× When I was at university, I did a lot of practical experiments, such as simple chemical reaction dissections of fish and frogs, which I found fascinating because they made abstract ideas tangible.

✓ When I was at university, I did a lot of practical experiments, such as simple chemical reactions and dissections of fish and frogs, which I found fascinating because they made abstract ideas tangible.

Parallel noun forms needed: 'chemical reaction dissections' is a confused compound; separate into 'chemical reactions and dissections'. Pluralize 'reaction' to 'reactions' to match 'experiments'.

× Later at university I started computer science, so I have to do a lot of programming and software engineering, which opened up new creative and problem solving opportunities for me.

✓ Later at university I started studying computer science, so I had to do a lot of programming and software engineering, which opened up new creative and problem-solving opportunities for me.

Tense consistency: 'started' is past so 'have to' should be past 'had to'. Hyphenate 'problem-solving' and ensure parallel structure. 'Started computer science' -> 'started studying computer science'.

× Yes, I like watching science TV programs because I'm a student of science, so whenever I get some time, I like to watch a documentaries on science and some podcast based on science topic.

✓ Yes, I like watching science TV programs because I'm a science student, so whenever I get some time, I like to watch documentaries about science and listen to podcasts on science topics.

Article errors and count nouns: 'a documentaries' is wrong—'documentaries' is plural without 'a'. 'A podcast' vs 'some podcast'—use 'podcasts' plural. Prepositions: use 'about' or 'on' appropriately. 'Student of science' -> 'science student' is more natural.

× That's how I enjoy my leisure and uh, get some knowledge about my field.

✓ That's how I enjoy my leisure time and get some knowledge about my field.

Add 'time' after 'leisure' for natural collocation. Remove filler 'uh'. Present tense 'enjoy' and 'get' are fine and parallel.

× Uh, maybe Chinese people often visit, uh, Science Museum because they are so much into science and their education is based on science and mathematics.

✓ Maybe Chinese people often visit science museums because they are very interested in science and their education emphasizes science and mathematics.

Awkward adverb 'so much into' should be 'very interested in'. 'Science Museum' should be plural 'science museums' or lowercase 'science museum'. 'Their education is based on' is awkward; 'emphasizes' is clearer.

× That's how I, that's what I believe.

✓ That's what I believe.

Redundant phrasing; 'That's how I, that's what I believe' is fragmented and repetitive. Simplify to one clear clause.

× So I think they often visit museums to know more about science and what's the invention in previous, uh, centuries that.

✓ So I think they often visit museums to learn more about science and the inventions of previous centuries.

Awkward verb 'to know more' should be 'to learn more'. Word order and phrasing: 'what's the invention in previous centuries that' is ungrammatical; rephrase as 'the inventions of previous centuries'. Remove filler 'uh'.