Sharing— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples. Reduce hesitation and repetition. Use linking words (for example, such as) to organize supporting details.

Example: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, they encouraged me to share snacks and toys with classmates, and to lend books to my siblings. Because of this, I grew up valuing generosity and cooperation.

Suggestion: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid fillers. Give a specific example of a song or situation where you shared music and explain the effect using linking words (for example, so, because).

Example: I like to share music with others. For example, I often send relaxing playlists to my friends when they are stressed, because music helps us relax and enjoy time together.

Suggestion: Clarify your meaning and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., 'negative emotions' instead of 'bad emotions' and 'attitude' instead of 'altitude'). Provide a brief reason and one clear example to support your point.

Example: I think negative emotions are not always suitable to share with others. For instance, if I'm feeling angry after a long day, I try to calm down before talking to my family, because sharing strong anger can hurt relationships.

Suggestion: Be concise and organize your response: state the main point, then give specific details (what you shared and why). Avoid repetition and pronoun confusion (his/her).

Example: Yes. I recently returned from Wuhan to visit my boyfriend and I gave him a birthday gift: a leather wallet and a keychain. He really liked the wallet because it was practical and reminded him of our trip.

Suggestion: Provide a clear topic sentence and a concise reason with specific details. Reduce hesitation and repeated phrases. Use linking words like 'because' to connect your reason.

Example: The first person I would share good news with is my boyfriend, because he is very supportive and interested in my life. For example, when I get good grades or something funny happens at school, he is the first person I message.

Suggestion: Give a clear main idea and specify types of news with examples. Avoid repetition and provide a linking phrase to explain why these topics are shared.

Example: I usually share interesting international news and personal updates about school or family. For example, I might send an article about a global event or tell friends about a funny incident at school so we can discuss it together.

× I remember that my parents, they told me that we should share our good things to our friends, to our families, to the one that we loved and each other guess like our snacks like, uh, things like like that, yes.

✓ I remember that my parents told me we should share our good things with our friends, with our family, with the people we love and with each other, for example snacks and similar things.

Redundant pronoun 'they' after 'my parents' is unnecessary and awkward; use of 'to' with 'share' is incorrect in this context — the correct preposition is 'with'; 'families' should be singular 'family' to match context; 'the one that we loved' is incorrect relative pronoun and tense — use 'people we love'; sentence is run-on and needs punctuation and clearer examples. Suggestion: remove redundant pronouns, use 'share ... with', use parallel structures, and break into clearer phrases.

× Uh, I think, uh, that must be the music for sure, yes, because I think the music can, makes me feel really relaxed and I'm more delighted to share it with my friends, with my parents. Uh, when we, we are, we will be really, uh, relaxing and enjoyable.

✓ Uh, I think that would definitely be music, because music makes me feel really relaxed and I'm more delighted to share it with my friends and my parents. When we listen together, we feel relaxed and enjoy ourselves.

Incorrect combination 'can, makes' mixes modal and simple present incorrectly; use either 'can make' or 'makes' — here 'makes' fits. 'We will be really relaxing and enjoyable' misuses adjectives and tense; use 'we feel relaxed and enjoy ourselves' to describe a present habitual experience. Suggestion: choose correct verb form and use reflexive 'enjoy ourselves'.

× Oh, this, uh, as far I'm concerned, I think the bad emotions that is not suitable to share for our lovers, our friend, our parents, our family. Cause, uh, I don't think we should take the bad emotions and altitude to them. That's, that's it.

✓ Oh, as far as I'm concerned, I think bad emotions are not suitable to share with our partners, friends or family. I don't think we should bring bad emotions and bad attitudes to them.

Missing 'as' in 'as far as I'm concerned'; 'that is' incorrect relative clause — use plural agreement 'are' for 'bad emotions'; preposition 'to share for' is wrong — use 'share with'; 'lovers' is better as 'partners' and 'friend' should be plural 'friends'; word 'altitude' is wrong word choice for 'attitude'; 'take ... to them' is unnatural — use 'bring'. Suggestion: correct prepositions, plurality, and word choice.

× Yeah, you know, I just I just came back from the Wuhan yes and I came I came there to meet my lover yes and I sent him uh her birthday gift That is a wallet and a key I think of.

✓ Yes, I just came back from Wuhan. I went there to meet my partner and I gave her a birthday gift: a wallet and a key.

Unnecessary definite article 'the Wuhan' — city names usually don't take 'the'; repeated 'I came' and tense is awkward — use 'I went there' or 'I went to meet'; 'sent him her birthday gift' mixes pronouns and verbs — use 'gave her a birthday gift'; sentence fragments should be combined and punctuated. Suggestion: remove 'the' before city names, use correct past tense verbs, use consistent pronouns.

× I guess it must be my lover, yes, I mean my boy, my boyfriend. MMM 'cause I think whenever I uh, meant something interesting or something weird, I will, I will send him, I will message him and he's always my the first one to share with.

✓ I guess it would be my partner, my boyfriend, because whenever I encounter something interesting or strange, I message him first — he is always the first person I share things with.

'Meant' is incorrect verb; use 'encounter' or 'find' for experiencing news. Mixing 'will' with habitual action is odd — use present simple 'I message him' or 'I share with him'. 'He's always my the first one' has redundant articles — use 'he is always the first person'. Suggestion: use present simple for habits, correct verb choice, and remove extra articles.

× I guess it must be the international news or something interesting happen in our in my school, in my family. That will be that will be great. I mean that will be interesting. We can talk. We have a lot of topics. We can talk, yes.

✓ I guess I usually share international news or interesting things that happen at my school or in my family. That is great because we can talk — we have many topics to discuss.

Use 'happen' requires relative clause 'that happen' or 'that happen to us'; 'in our in my school' is redundant and inconsistent — choose 'my school'; 'a lot of topics' is informal — 'many topics' or 'lots of topics' preferred. Suggestion: use 'that' to link clauses, choose correct possessive, and streamline repetition.