Part 1
Examiner
Did you have a bike when you were a child?
Candidate
Actually, that isn't very gripping question, of course. Yes, I remember 10 years ago when I was 10 years old little girl, my dad used to about buy a new pink gorgeous white for me. That was my.
Examiner
Do you think bikes are popular in your country?
Candidate
To be honest, yes, 'cause I live in one of the most gorgeous cities in Kazakhstan, especially the center of our country. Salmate and Almate is famous for its own, uh, gripping nature. And that is why our citizens are keen on riding a bike, because they love such kind of sports.
Did you have a bike when you were a child?
Score: 25.0Suggestion: Ответ начинается неестественно и содержит лишнюю фразу “that isn't very gripping question”, которая не отвечает на вопрос. Сразу дайте прямой ответ, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретные детали. Исправьте грамматику: “when I was a 10-year-old girl”, “my dad bought me”, а не “used to about buy”. Также избегайте противоречия “pink gorgeous white” и закончите мысль полностью. Используйте связку “and” или “because” для логичного продолжения.
Example: Yes, I did. When I was a ten-year-old girl, my dad bought me a beautiful pink bike. I was really excited because it was my first bike, and I used to ride it around our neighborhood after school.
Do you think bikes are popular in your country?
Score: 40.0Suggestion: Основная идея понятна, но ответ содержит неточные и неестественные выражения. Названия городов нужно исправить на “Almaty and Astana”, а “Salmate” удалить. Фраза “famous for its own gripping nature” звучит неестественно; лучше сказать “have beautiful scenery” или “offer many cycling routes”. Не повторяйте причинную связь “that is why... because”; используйте одну ясную конструкцию, например “because”. Добавьте конкретную причину популярности велосипедов, например экологичность, удобство или наличие велодорожек.
Example: Yes, bikes are quite popular in Kazakhstan, especially in Almaty and Astana. These cities have beautiful scenery and many people enjoy cycling in parks or along dedicated bike lanes. In addition, cycling is an affordable and healthy way to travel.
× Actually, that isn't very gripping question, of course.
✓ Actually, that isn't a very gripping question, of course.
The singular countable noun question requires the indefinite article a because it is mentioned for the first time.
× Yes, I remember 10 years ago when I was 10 years old little girl, my dad used to about buy a new pink gorgeous white for me.
✓ Yes, I remember that 10 years ago, when I was a 10-year-old girl, my dad used to buy a new pink-and-white bike for me.
The singular countable noun girl needs the article a. The compound adjective 10-year-old is placed before girl, and the sentence needs the noun bike after the adjectives.
× Yes, I remember 10 years ago when I was 10 years old little girl, my dad used to about buy a new pink gorgeous white for me.
✓ Yes, I remember that 10 years ago, when I was a 10-year-old girl, my dad used to buy a new pink-and-white bike for me.
Used to must be followed directly by the base form of the verb, so used to buy is correct. The phrase used to about buy is grammatically incorrect.
× Yes, I remember 10 years ago when I was 10 years old little girl, my dad used to about buy a new pink gorgeous white for me.
✓ Yes, I remember that 10 years ago, when I was a 10-year-old girl, my dad used to buy a gorgeous new pink-and-white bike for me.
Adjectives should follow a natural order. Opinion adjectives such as gorgeous usually come before age, color, and the noun. Also, pink and white should describe the bike together as a compound color adjective.
× That was my.
✓ That was mine.
My is a possessive determiner and must be followed by a noun, as in my bike. Mine is the possessive pronoun used independently at the end of this sentence.
× Salmate and Almate is famous for its own, uh, gripping nature.
✓ Salmate and Almate are famous for their, uh, gripping natural scenery.
Salmate and Almate refers to two places, so the plural verb are is required. The plural possessive pronoun their also agrees with the plural subject.
× And that is why our citizens are keen on riding a bike, because they love such kind of sports.
✓ And that is why our citizens are keen on riding bikes, because they love this kind of sport.
With the expression this kind of, the noun after kind is normally singular, so sport is correct. When speaking about cycling generally, the plural form bikes is also more natural.