Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: ‘four vehicles’는 의미가 부자연스럽고 아마 ‘four wheels’ 또는 ‘training wheels’를 말하려고 한 것 같습니다. 질문에 직접 답한 점은 좋지만, 자전거의 특징이나 사용한 장소를 한 가지 구체적으로 덧붙이면 더 효과적입니다. 예를 들어 ‘I had a bike with training wheels’처럼 정확한 표현을 사용하고, ‘when I was young’과 ‘when I was a child’ 중 하나만 사용해 불필요한 반복을 피하세요.

Example: Yes, I had a small bike with training wheels when I was a child. I usually rode it around my neighborhood with my friends.

Suggestion: 의견을 직접 제시한 점과 이유를 설명하려 한 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 ‘the bike’는 일반적으로 ‘bikes’ 또는 ‘cycling’이라고 해야 하며, ‘many parents’ 뒤의 문장은 불완전합니다. ‘many parents buy bikes for their children’으로 수정하고, ‘Moreover’나 ‘Also’ 같은 연결어를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 연결하세요. 공원뿐 아니라 자전거 도로나 여가 활동 등 구체적인 예를 추가하면 내용이 더 풍부해집니다.

Example: Yes, bikes are quite popular in Korea, especially among children and young adults. Many kids ride bicycles in parks, and parents often buy bikes for them. Moreover, more people are cycling for exercise and transportation.

× Yes, I think the bike is popular in my country, Korea, because many kids ride bicycles at the park and many parents.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country, Korea, because many kids ride bicycles in parks and many parents buy bikes for their kids.

When talking about bicycles in general, use the plural noun bikes rather than the singular phrase the bike. The original sentence also ends with many parents, which is incomplete because parents need a verb. Use a complete clause such as many parents buy bikes for their kids.

× Both by the bikes for their kids.

✓ Many parents buy bikes for their kids.

The original sentence does not contain a correctly formed verb: by should be buy. Also, both is normally used for exactly two people or things, so it is not suitable after many parents. Use many parents buy bikes for their kids to express the idea clearly.