Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Start with a clear topic sentence and organize the information chronologically. Correct the sentence structure by saying “I had one when I was six and another when I was eight,” instead of repeating “the one.” You should also complete your final idea and explain what happened after the first bike broke. Use a linking word such as “however” or “unfortunately” to connect the details naturally.

Example: Yes, I had two bikes when I was a child. I got my first one when I was six, but unfortunately, it broke after a couple of years. Then, when I was eight, my parents bought me another bike, which I used to ride around my neighborhood.

Suggestion: Use the plural subject “bikes,” so say “they are very popular,” not “it is.” Give a direct, logically organized answer and avoid the unclear phrase “in India and workers and children.” You could explain who uses bikes, such as children, workers, or commuters, and give a specific reason or example. Use linking words like “particularly” and “because” to make the answer more coherent.

Example: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, particularly among children and workers. They are especially common in residential neighborhoods with very little traffic because they are convenient and inexpensive. Many people use them for short journeys, such as going to school or commuting to work.

× Yes, in fact I had two bikes one when I was six and one when I was eight.

✓ Yes, in fact, I had two bikes: one when I was six and one when I was eight.

The original sentence contains two independent ideas without clear punctuation or structure. Use a colon to introduce the two bikes and separate the introductory phrase with commas.

× The one when I was the one I had when I was six broke and

✓ The one I had when I was six broke.

The original sentence has an incorrect and repeated structure, and it ends with and without completing the thought. Use the clear structure the one I had when I was six and remove the unnecessary words.

× Yes, I think it is very popular in my country, especially in neighborhoods where there are barely any cars.

✓ Yes, I think they are very popular in my country, especially in neighborhoods where there are barely any cars.

The question refers to bikes, which is plural. Therefore, use the plural pronoun they and the plural verb are instead of it and is.

× It is especially popular too in India and workers and children.

✓ Bikes are also especially popular among workers and children in India.

The original sentence has an unclear and incomplete structure. It incorrectly connects India, workers, and children with and. The revised sentence clearly identifies bikes as the subject and shows that workers and children are the people among whom bikes are popular.

× It is especially popular too in India and workers and children.

✓ Bikes are also especially popular among workers and children in India.

Use among when referring to a group of people. The phrase among workers and children is correct, whereas in workers and children is not.