Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise, correct grammar, and use linking words to organise details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (colour, why it had training wheels) using linking words like “because” or “so”. Avoid hesitations and repetition. Also correct verb tenses (use past simple) and small grammar issues (remove extra articles and filler sounds).

Example: Yes, I did. My first bike was pink and had four wheels because it was a training bike for children, so it felt much safer while I was learning to ride.

Suggestion: Give a clear main idea and support it with specific reasons and a brief comparison. Reduce repetition and avoid negative phrasing like “poor country” — instead say “lower-income” or discuss affordability. Use linking words (for example, “however”, “over time”, “because”) to show change and cause. Keep sentences direct and grammatically correct.

Example: Yes. Traditionally bicycles were very common in Vietnam because they were affordable and practical for short trips. However, over time many people switched to motorbikes and then to cars as incomes rose and transport needs changed.

× Yes I did I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child.

The sentence repeats 'I did' unnecessarily. Use a single auxiliary 'did' for emphasis or simple past: 'Yes, I did have' or 'Yes, I had.' Remove the duplicate to avoid redundancy.

× I still remember the my first bike is in the pink color and it has like 4 wheels because uh kid have to learn how to ride a bike uh.

✓ I still remember my first bike; it was pink and had four wheels because a kid has to learn how to ride a bike.

Multiple issues: remove the extra definite article 'the' before 'my first bike.' Change present tense 'is' to past 'was' to match 'I still remember' (past reference). Use 'had' for past possession. Spell out numbers in writing: 'four.' Use 'a kid' (singular) and 'has' for third person singular. Use a semicolon or separate sentences for clarity.

× So 4 wheels will make it safer for for me.

✓ So four wheels made it safer for me.

Because the student describes a past situation, use past tense 'made' rather than future 'will make.' Also remove the duplicated word 'for.' Spell out 'four.'

× Yes, of course. Bikes are really coming in my country because my, my country is in Vietnam.

✓ Yes, of course. Bikes are becoming more popular in my country; my country is Vietnam.

'Coming' is incorrect in this context; use 'becoming more popular.' Remove the repeated phrase 'my, my country is in Vietnam' and rephrase concisely. Use a semicolon or separate sentences for clarity.

× So it's a poor country.

✓ Vietnam is a developing country.

Calling a country 'poor' is blunt and may be culturally insensitive. Use 'developing country' or 'lower-income country' which is more accurate and neutral. Grammar-wise the original is simple but rephrasing improves register and accuracy.

× Since umm of the beginning, everyone uh, has their own personal bike, but uh, gradually people switch to motorbike uh, and then car of course.

✓ Since the beginning, almost everyone had their own bicycle, but gradually people switched to motorbikes and then to cars.

'Since of the beginning' is ungrammatical; use 'since the beginning.' Use past tense 'had' and 'switched' to describe historical change. Use 'bicycle' instead of repeated 'personal bike.' Use plural 'motorbikes' and include 'to' before 'cars.' Replace casual fillers. 'Their' is acceptable as singular generic, but plural 'everyone had their' is common; here 'almost everyone had' avoids pronoun issues.