Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Reduce repetition and correct grammar errors; give a clear topic sentence then one or two supporting details using linking words. For example, remove duplicate words (“would not would not”) and fix verb forms (“let me have”). Use a linking phrase to explain why your father was concerned. Aim for 2–4 sentences total.

Example: Yes — I had a tricycle when I was a child and I loved riding it in the park and around our neighborhood. However, my father wouldn’t let me have a bicycle because he was worried I might fall and hurt myself, so I kept using the tricycle until I was older.

Suggestion: Make your main point clear at the start, avoid filler words ("umm"), and improve sentence cohesion with linking words. Correct comparative phrasing (“not as popular as in other countries”) and clarify who uses bikes (e.g., commuters, athletes). Provide one specific example or contrast to support your view.

Example: Bicycles are not as popular in my country as they are in some other places; most people prefer cars. However, you can often see cyclists training on the streets, especially members of athletic clubs, and a small number of commuters who use bikes for short trips.

× Yes, I had a tricycle as a child that I enjoyed riding on the park and around the neighborhood.

✓ Yes, I had a tricycle as a child that I enjoyed riding in the park and around the neighborhood.

Use the gerund 'riding' correctly with the preposition 'in' for enclosed public places like 'the park'. The original had correct verb form but incorrect preposition; change 'on the park' to 'in the park'. Suggestion: Use 'ride in the park' or 'ride around the park' depending on meaning.

× However, my father would not would not let me to have a bicycle because he was too afraid that I would fall and get hurt.

✓ However, my father would not let me have a bicycle because he was too afraid that I would fall and get hurt.

Remove the duplicated 'would not' and do not use 'to' after 'let' when followed by a bare infinitive. 'Let' is followed by the base verb (let me have), not 'to have'. Suggestion: Use 'would not let me have' or 'did not let me have' depending on emphasis.

× They are not that popular as in other countries but you can see people using them mostly athletic groups which you can see training on the streets.

✓ They are not as popular as in other countries, but you can see people using them, mostly athletic groups training on the streets.

The comparative structure is 'not as ... as'. The sentence is also wordy and has redundancy ('you can see' twice) and awkward clause placement. Reorder to place 'mostly athletic groups training on the streets' as a modifier. Use commas to separate clauses. Suggestion: 'They are not as popular as in other countries, but you can see them mainly used by athletic groups training on the streets.'

× But until you they are not that popular.

✓ But overall, they are not that popular.

The original phrase 'But until you they are not that popular' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with a concise connector and subject to convey the intended contrast. 'Overall' or 'in general' fits the meaning. Suggestion: Use clear linking words like 'overall' or 'in general' for summarizing statements.

× Umm in my country we prefer cars mostly.

✓ In my country, we mostly prefer cars.

Adverb placement: 'mostly' should come before or after the verb phrase for natural word order. Add a comma after the introductory phrase. Also remove filler 'Umm' in formal responses. Suggestion: 'In my country, we mostly prefer cars.' or 'In my country, people generally prefer cars.'