Bike— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and word choice (e.g., "birthday gift"). Avoid repetition and unclear phrasing. Also clarify the anecdote about fighting with your brother by using a simple, logical connector.

Example: Yes, I did. My brother bought me a bicycle as a birthday gift when I was eight, and I practiced riding it every afternoon. However, we sometimes argued over who could borrow it, so we set a schedule so both of us had fair turns.

Suggestion: Give a clearer opinion and support it with specific reasons and examples. Use correct grammar (e.g., "a lot of kids used to want bikes" or "many children want bikes"). Use linking words like "for example" or "because" and avoid vague phrases like "bike show." Keep to two or three sentences.

Example: Yes, I think bikes are very popular, especially among children. For example, many parents buy bicycles for their kids to learn balance and stay active, and schools often organize cycling activities for students.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a kid, a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The original sentence repeats 'kid' and 'a child', which is redundant. Use one noun phrase: 'a child' or 'a kid'. No tense change needed.

× I remember my brother bought it, bought it as a birth birthday gift for me.

✓ I remember my brother bought it as a birthday gift for me.

The phrase 'birth birthday' is incorrect and redundant. Use 'birthday gift'. Also remove repeated 'bought it' to avoid unnecessary repetition. The past tense 'bought' correctly matches 'I remember' describing a past event.

× I don't remember my brother and I fight before because who wants to borrow the bike for me?

✓ I don't remember if my brother and I ever fought before about who wanted to borrow the bike.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing subordinating structure. Use 'if' to introduce the indirect question and change verb forms to past tense 'fought' and 'wanted' to match 'before'. Rephrase 'who wanted to borrow the bike' to be a clear clause; remove 'for me' which is unnecessary.

× Yes, because a lot of kids before wants to have a bike show.

✓ Yes, because many children used to want a bike when they were younger.

The original mixes 'a lot of kids before' and incorrect verb 'wants'. Use plural subject 'children' or 'kids' with correct past habit expression 'used to want' or 'wanted'. 'Bike show' is unclear; likely meant 'a bike' so remove 'show'.

× My mother bought us a bike and we'll learn how to ride a bike.

✓ My mother bought us a bike and we learned how to ride it.

The first clause is past tense 'bought', so the second clause should also be past tense: 'we learned'. 'We'll' (we will) is inconsistent. Also replace the repeated 'a bike' with pronoun 'it' to avoid repetition.