Study— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fragmented sentences and irrelevant words.

Example: I work full-time in Beijing as a building electrical engineer. I studied energy and architectural technology at Beijing University of Energy and Architecture. Over the past eight years I have worked with local architects and contractors, which helped me improve my problem-solving skills when dealing with electrical and technical issues.

Suggestion: Give a direct topic sentence and then one or two clear supporting details. Correct sentence structure and use linking words to connect ideas. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., graduates, reputation).

Example: I studied at Beijing University of Energy and Architecture. It is a well-established university with a strong reputation for its architecture program, and many notable graduates have gone on to successful careers in design and construction.

Suggestion: Answer directly and balance positives and negatives using linking words (however, for example). Use accurate grammar and avoid repetitions. Provide specific examples and keep within 3–4 sentences.

Example: Not really. Although the university is centrally located, the buildings are old and overcrowded — for example, six students often share one dorm room and heating or showers are unreliable. However, the teachers are very committed and deliver high-quality instruction.

Suggestion: State one clear change as a topic sentence, then give specific examples and link them logically. Use correct word order and avoid choppy fragments. Keep it concise and coherent.

Example: Yes, I would like the campus to upgrade its facilities. For example, renovating the dormitories and shower blocks and expanding the canteen with more seating and food counters would reduce overcrowding and make mealtimes quicker and more comfortable for students.

Suggestion: Be specific about exam names and sequencing, and use linking words to show order (first, then). Correct collocations (e.g., 'professional proficiency exam', 'apply to Australian universities'). Keep it natural and concise.

Example: I want to improve my English, so first I will take an English proficiency test such as IELTS and attend a language school abroad. Then I plan to prepare and apply for admission to universities in Australia to continue my studies.

× I work full time in Beijing as a building electrical engineer.

✓ I work full-time in Beijing as a building electrical engineer.

Use of hyphen in 'full-time' when used as a compound adjective before a noun; this is a punctuation/usage correction related to present-tense statement. Improve clarity by writing 'full-time' with a hyphen.

× I studied several energy and tech architecture at Beijing University of Energy and Architecture of Working in the city for eight years, I enjoy solving electrical problem, technical problems and.

✓ I studied energy and technology architecture at Beijing University of Energy and Architecture. I have been working in the city for eight years, and I enjoy solving electrical and technical problems.

Multiple issues: incorrect past tense phrasing and sentence run-on. 'Studied several energy and tech architecture' is ungrammatical — use singular fields or plural 'fields' and correct terms 'energy and technology architecture'. Separate ideas into two sentences: past study and present perfect continuous action 'have been working' to indicate an action continuing to present. Also plural 'problems' needed and remove stray conjunctions.

× The native architectures and contractors.

✓ I work with local architects and contractors.

Fragment sentence lacking verb and clear subject. 'Native architectures' is incorrect; use 'local architects' (people) and include verb 'work with' to complete the sentence.

× Where do you study? Student: I study at Beijing University of Shivo Energy and Architecture is a university with a long history and a strong reputation for its architecture and many notable architectures graduated from here.

✓ I study at Beijing University of Shivo Energy and Architecture. It is a university with a long history and a strong reputation for architecture, and many notable architects graduated from here.

Original combined two clauses incorrectly and misused 'architectures' (should be 'architects'). Split into two sentences and replace 'its architecture' with 'architecture' for natural expression. Use past tense 'graduated' correctly.

× Is it a good place to study? Student: Not really, the school is in central Beijing, but the building is old and small so the room were are crowded.

✓ Not really. The school is in central Beijing, but the buildings are old and small, so the rooms are crowded.

Subject-verb agreement and plurality errors: 'room were are crowded' is incorrect. Use plural 'buildings' and 'rooms' with singular verb 'are'. Also break into sentences for clarity.

× Usually 6 people share one room.

✓ Usually six people share one room.

Write out small numbers in formal speech may be preferred, but main correction is consistent numeral style; grammatically the sentence is correct but style improvement provided.

× The facilities are in inadequate and often don't work.

✓ The facilities are inadequate and often don't work.

Remove incorrect preposition 'in' before adjective 'inadequate'. Use 'are inadequate' to describe facilities.

× For example the showers and heating are unreliable.

✓ For example, the showers and heating are unreliable.

Add comma after introductory phrase for correct punctuation; sentence otherwise correct.

× On the positive side, the teachers are very good and taking their teaching responsibilities. Seriously.

✓ On the positive side, the teachers are very good and take their teaching responsibilities seriously.

Original had incorrect verb form 'taking' leading to sentence fragment and misplaced 'Seriously.' Use simple present 'take' for habitual action and attach adverb 'seriously' to verb.

× I would like the campus to upgrade some facilities because several are out of date and uncomfortable.

✓ I would like the campus to upgrade some facilities because several are out of date and uncomfortable.

Sentence is grammatical; modal 'would like' correctly expresses desire. No change required.

× For example, the the dormitories and the shower blocks need a renovation and the canteen is too small and becomes overcrowded at lunchtime, so adding extra seating and more food counters would make meal time. Quicker and more place in the for students.

✓ For example, the dormitories and the shower blocks need renovation, and the canteen is too small and becomes overcrowded at lunchtime, so adding extra seating and more food counters would make mealtimes quicker and provide more space for students.

Multiple issues: duplicate 'the the', incorrect article 'a renovation' better as 'renovation' in this context, awkward sentence split and word order 'make meal time. Quicker and more place in the for students.' Combine into one sentence, use plural 'mealtimes', and 'provide more space for students' for clarity.

× What are your future study plans? Student: I want to improve my English, so I'm going to take an English profession proficiency exam and attend a language school abroad.

✓ I want to improve my English, so I'm going to take an English professional proficiency exam and attend a language school abroad.

Use adjective 'professional' instead of incorrect 'profession'. Future intention 'I'm going to' is appropriate.

× Then I plan to prepare for the Australia University exam to continue my studies there.

✓ Then I plan to prepare for the Australian university entrance exam to continue my studies there.

Use adjective 'Australian' not 'Australia'. 'University entrance exam' is a natural collocation. Capitalization: 'university' need not be capitalized here.