Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Answer the question directly in the past tense and avoid repeating yourself. Use a clear structure: state whether you had opportunities, explain why you did or did not take them, and give one specific example. The answer is incomplete, and “I’m too deemed” is unclear; you could say “I was too timid” or “I was too afraid.” Use linking words such as “however” and “because” to connect your ideas.

Example: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities, such as joining a swimming club and taking music lessons. However, I usually turned them down because I was quite timid and afraid of challenges. Looking back, I wish I had been more willing to try them.

Suggestion: Give a direct opinion at the beginning, then support it with one or two clear reasons and, if possible, an example. The phrase “but rather” is incorrect here; use “but it can also” or simply “and it can also.” Avoid repeating “and,” and replace the unclear phrase “Well you can because we only live once” with a complete, natural sentence such as “Since we only live once, people should make the most of their opportunities.”

Example: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this can broaden their experience and help them discover their strengths. It can also make life more enjoyable and help them become more confident. Since we only live once, we should make the most of our opportunities.

× I have a lot of opportunities but I never grabbed it because I'm too deemed and I'm afraid of challenges.

✓ I had a lot of opportunities, but I never took advantage of them because I was too timid and afraid of challenges.

The question refers to the student's childhood, so the past tense is required: had, was, and were afraid would be appropriate. Also, took advantage of is a more natural expression than grabbed in this context.

× I never grabbed it

✓ I never took advantage of them

The pronoun must agree with opportunities, which is plural. Therefore, them should be used instead of it.

× I'm too deemed

✓ I was too timid

Deemed is a verb meaning considered or judged, so it cannot describe a person's personality here. Timid is the appropriate adjective because it means lacking confidence or being afraid of challenges.

× And aside from that, because of

✓ Aside from that, I was also afraid of challenges.

The original phrase is incomplete and does not contain a complete subject-verb structure. Because of must be followed by a noun phrase, or the idea should be rewritten as a complete sentence.

× Trying different things can not only give you better experiences in life, but rather it can also help you to grow and and be the best version of yourself and to enjoy your life.

✓ Trying different things can not only give you better experiences in life, but also help you grow, become the best version of yourself, and enjoy your life.

The correlative conjunction pair is not only ... but also, not not only ... but rather. The second repeated and is unnecessary. After help, the base form of the verb is preferred, so help you grow is more natural than help you to grow.