Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Answer the question directly and use more accurate grammar. Say “a lot of opportunities” rather than “a plenty of opportunities,” and use the past tense consistently: “My parents always encouraged me” and “I often learned.” Add articles and plural forms where needed, such as “sports teams,” “music lessons,” and “rock climbing and swimming.” Use a linking word such as “In addition” or “For example” to organize the supporting details. The answer contains relevant examples, but it should be divided into shorter, clearer sentences.

Example: Yes, I had plenty of opportunities to try new activities as a child. My parents always encouraged me to join sports teams and take music lessons. In addition, when we traveled, I often tried activities such as rock climbing and swimming. These experiences helped me discover what I enjoyed most.

Suggestion: Begin with a clear opinion, such as “Yes, I think people should try different things.” The current response is difficult to understand because of incorrect structures such as “Different things as from if” and “different kind of knowledge.” Explain one or two specific benefits using accurate collocations: “gain new knowledge and skills,” “broaden their experience,” and “develop personally.” Use a linking word such as “because” to connect your opinion and reason, and include a brief example or result. Avoid repetition of “different things” and “knowledge.”

Example: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities whenever possible. This is because they can gain new skills, broaden their experience, and discover their interests. For example, someone who tries volunteering, sports, and creative activities may find a hobby or even a future career that suits them. However, they should choose activities that are realistic and enjoyable.

× I had a plenty of opportunities to do activities as a child.

✓ I had plenty of opportunities to do activities as a child.

Plenty of is a quantifier that does not normally take the indefinite article a. Use plenty of opportunities, not a plenty of opportunities.

× My parents are always encouraged me to join sports team and take music lessons and while on a trip I often learn different things like rock climbing, swimming to discover which activities I enjoy the most.

✓ My parents always encouraged me to join sports teams and take music lessons, and while on a trip, I often learned different things like rock climbing and swimming to discover which activities I enjoyed the most.

Because the question asks about childhood, the past tense is needed: encouraged, learned, and enjoyed. Are encouraged is an incorrect passive construction here because the parents actively encouraged the student; use encouraged. Sports teams should be plural when referring to sports in general. Use and to connect the parallel activities rock climbing and swimming.

× Different things as from if they do different kind of stuff, they will come to know different kind of knowledge and skills not only help them to grow and add experience in their knowledge.

✓ If people try different kinds of activities, they will gain different kinds of knowledge and skills, which will help them grow and gain experience.

The original sentence has an incomplete and unclear opening: Different things as from if. Begin with the complete conditional clause If people try different kinds of activities. Kinds must be plural after different because the sentence refers to more than one type. The relative clause which will help them connects the ideas clearly and avoids the incorrect structure different kinds of knowledge and skills not only help them.