Part 1
Examiner
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Candidate
As I have many opportunities to take part in new activities when I am child in summer holidays my father used to send me summer camps for my interest so may my interests are like painting, drawing and dancing. So these are the activities I have done during my childhood. My father supported
Examiner
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Candidate
As people can do many different things because if they are interested in the things which they love to do it totally depends on their interest and also their support system.
Did you have any opportunities to take part in new activities as a child?
Score: 42.0Suggestion: Answer the question directly in the past tense and avoid repeating the same idea. Use a clear structure: state that you had opportunities, explain that your father sent you to summer camps, and give specific examples of activities. Complete your final sentence and use linking words such as “because,” “for example,” and “as a result.” Also, say “when I was a child,” “during the summer holidays,” and “my interests included” instead of using incorrect forms such as “when I am child” and “may my interests.”
Example: Yes, I had several opportunities to try new activities when I was a child. During the summer holidays, my father often sent me to summer camps because he wanted me to explore my interests. For example, I tried painting, drawing, and dancing, and I really enjoyed being creative. My father’s support encouraged me to continue these activities.
Should people try as many different things as they can?
Score: 48.0Suggestion: Give a clear opinion at the beginning instead of starting with “As.” Then support your opinion with one reason and, if possible, a brief example. Avoid repeating “interest” and “things”; use more precise vocabulary such as “activities,” “hobbies,” and “personal preferences.” You could also mention that people should try different activities, but they should consider their time, energy, and support system.
Example: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them discover their interests and develop new skills. For example, someone who tries cooking, sports, or painting may find a hobby they truly enjoy. However, they should choose activities that suit their abilities, available time, and support system.
× As I have many opportunities to take part in new activities when I am child
✓ I had many opportunities to take part in new activities when I was a child.
The question asks about the student’s childhood, so the past tense is required. Use had instead of have and was instead of am when referring to a past period.
× when I am child
✓ when I was a child
The singular countable noun child requires the indefinite article a. The correct phrase is a child.
× My father used to send me summer camps
✓ My father used to send me to summer camps.
The preposition to is needed after send when describing the destination or event that someone attends: send someone to a camp.
× So maybe my interests are like painting, drawing and dancing.
✓ So maybe my interests were painting, drawing, and dancing.
The student is describing interests during childhood, which is a past period. Therefore, were is more appropriate than are.
× These are the activities I have done during my childhood.
✓ These were the activities I did during my childhood.
The phrase during my childhood refers to a completed period in the past. Use the simple past did and were instead of the present forms are and have done.
× As people can do many different things because if they are interested in the things which they love to do it totally depends on their interest and also their support system.
✓ People should try many different things because it depends on their interests and support system.
The original sentence has several unnecessary conjunctions and clauses, which makes its structure difficult to follow. Begin with the subject and main verb, then give the reason in a separate, logically connected clause.
× the things which they love to do it totally depends on their interest
✓ the things they love to do depend on their interests
The relative clause already has the object the things, so the extra pronoun it is unnecessary. Also, the plural subject things requires the plural verb depend.
× their interest and also their support system
✓ their interests and also their support system
The sentence refers to the different things people may be interested in, so the plural noun interests is more appropriate than the singular noun interest.