Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Answer the question directly in the first sentence and keep the tense consistent. Use the past tense for childhood experiences, and say “I particularly enjoyed skiing” rather than “Mostly I enjoy skiing.” Also, “I’ve been skiing for five years” is unclear because it suggests you still ski; use “I skied for five years” if the activity was entirely in the past. Finally, explain specifically how skiing helped you, and avoid the unnatural phrase “maintain my life.”

Example: Yes, I had the opportunity to try several activities as a child, including skiing, football and karate. I particularly enjoyed skiing, which I did for about five years. It helped me become more disciplined and focused because I had to practise regularly and follow safety instructions.

Suggestion: State your opinion clearly and divide your ideas into complete sentences. Use linking words such as “because,” “for example” and “as a result” to show the relationship between your reasons and conclusion. Replace unclear phrases such as “in they’re different in the unusual and vast topics” with precise language like “in a wide range of topics.” You should also give one specific example to support your claim and check subject–verb agreement, for example, “this makes them more interesting.”

Example: Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities because this helps them become more adaptable. For example, someone who learns a musical instrument and plays a team sport can develop both creativity and communication skills. As a result, they may have more experiences to discuss and become more interesting conversationalists.

× Mostly I enjoy skiing and I've been skiing for five years for now.

✓ Mostly, I enjoy skiing, and I've been skiing for five years now.

The expression is for five years now, not for five years for now. The word for shows the duration, while now indicates that the activity continues up to the present.

× I believe yes it makes them versatile and they could keep the conversation going in They're different in the unusual and vast topics so that make them more interesting and this deep knowledge.

✓ I believe that trying different things makes people versatile, helps them keep conversations going on different and wide-ranging topics, makes them more interesting, and gives them deeper knowledge.

After I believe, that is needed to introduce the idea clearly. The original sentence connects several ideas incorrectly, so the clauses should be linked with parallel verbs such as makes, helps, and gives.

× I believe yes it makes them versatile and they could keep the conversation going in They're different in the unusual and vast topics so that make them more interesting and this deep knowledge.

✓ I believe that trying different things makes people versatile and enables them to keep conversations going on different and wide-ranging topics.

Could expresses a possible or conditional ability. Because the sentence describes a general ability, can or enables them to is more appropriate. The phrase enables them to also creates a grammatically complete structure.

× I believe yes it makes them versatile and they could keep the conversation going in They're different in the unusual and vast topics so that make them more interesting and this deep knowledge.

✓ I believe that trying different things makes people versatile, helps them keep conversations going on different and wide-ranging topics, makes them more interesting, and gives them deeper knowledge.

The subject trying different things is singular, so the verbs must agree with it: makes, helps, makes, and gives. The original phrase so that make incorrectly uses the plural form make.

× I believe yes it makes them versatile and they could keep the conversation going in They're different in the unusual and vast topics so that make them more interesting and this deep knowledge.

✓ I believe that trying different things makes people versatile, helps them keep conversations going on different and wide-ranging topics, makes them more interesting, and gives them deeper knowledge.

The ending and this deep knowledge is only a noun phrase and does not contain a verb. It should be changed to gives them deeper knowledge so that it forms a complete clause.

× I believe yes it makes them versatile and they could keep the conversation going in They're different in the unusual and vast topics so that make them more interesting and this deep knowledge.

✓ I believe that trying different things makes people versatile, helps them keep conversations going on different and wide-ranging topics, makes them more interesting, and gives them deeper knowledge.

The original sentence combines several incomplete and unclear clauses, including They're different in and so that make them. Organizing the ideas with one clear subject and parallel verb phrases makes the sentence grammatically complete and easier to understand.