Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 질문에 직접 답한 점은 좋지만, 문법과 어휘 오류가 많아 자연스러움이 떨어집니다. ‘go study abroad in Philippines’는 ‘study abroad in the Philippines’로, ‘meeting’은 ‘meet’으로 수정해야 합니다. 또한 ‘new peoples with different conditions’는 부자연스러우므로 ‘people from different backgrounds’처럼 표현하는 것이 좋습니다. 경험의 결과나 느낀 점을 한 문장 추가하면 답변이 더 구체적이고 효과적입니다.

Example: Yes. When I was 18, I had the opportunity to study abroad in the Philippines. I met people from different backgrounds and tried activities that were unfamiliar to me. It was a valuable experience because it made me more independent and open-minded.

Suggestion: 의견을 명확히 제시한 점은 좋지만, ‘The reason why is they’는 ‘The reason is that they’로 고쳐야 하며, ‘grow themselves’와 ‘break themselves’는 이 문맥에서 부자연스럽습니다. ‘develop themselves’와 ‘step outside their comfort zones’를 사용하는 것이 적절합니다. 또한 ‘go a broader society’ 대신 ‘adapt to a wider society’ 또는 ‘understand the world better’를 사용하고, 구체적인 예시나 결과를 연결어와 함께 추가하세요.

Example: Yes, definitely. Trying different things helps people develop new skills and step outside their comfort zones. For example, learning a language or joining a new club can make them more confident. As a result, they may become better prepared for different situations in life.

× Oh, when I was 18 years old, I had a chance to go study abroad in Philippines and meeting new peoples with different conditions.

✓ Oh, when I was 18 years old, I had a chance to go study abroad in the Philippines and meet new people from different backgrounds.

The country name Philippines normally takes the definite article the, so in Philippines should be in the Philippines.

× Oh, when I was 18 years old, I had a chance to go study abroad in Philippines and meeting new peoples with different conditions.

✓ Oh, when I was 18 years old, I had a chance to go study abroad in the Philippines and meet new people from different backgrounds.

People is already the plural form of person. Peoples is used only when referring to different ethnic or cultural groups, so new people is correct here.

× Oh, when I was 18 years old, I had a chance to go study abroad in Philippines and meeting new peoples with different conditions.

✓ Oh, when I was 18 years old, I had a chance to go study abroad in the Philippines and meet new people from different backgrounds.

The verbs go and meet are connected by and, so they should have parallel forms. Use the base form meet rather than the -ing form meeting.

× The reason why is they need some opportunities to grow themselves and break themselves to go a broader society.

✓ The reason is that they need opportunities to grow and become part of a broader society.

The structure The reason why is they is incorrect. Use The reason is that followed by a complete clause. The revised sentence also uses a clearer and more natural structure for expressing the intended meaning.

× The reason why is they need some opportunities to grow themselves and break themselves to go a broader society.

✓ The reason is that they need opportunities to grow and become part of a broader society.

The verb grow is normally used without a reflexive pronoun when it means to develop as a person. Therefore, grow themselves should be changed to grow. Avoid unnecessary reflexive pronouns unless the subject and object are clearly the same.

× The reason why is they need some opportunities to grow themselves and break themselves to go a broader society.

✓ The reason is that they need opportunities to grow and become part of a broader society.

The phrase go a broader society is missing an appropriate grammatical connection and is not natural English. Become part of a broader society clearly expresses the intended relationship without using an incorrect preposition.