Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 質問には直接答えられていますが、「dance and sing activities」は「dance and singing activities」または「dancing and singing activities」、「fifth or six grade」は「fifth or sixth grade」とする必要があります。また、「whole day of three days」は「all day for three days」、「we show」は過去形の「we showed」に修正しましょう。最後の文が未完成なので、発表を誰に見せたのか、またその経験がどうだったのかを具体的に説明して、3〜4文で完結させてください。

Example: Yes, I had the opportunity to take part in dancing and singing activities in elementary school. I think I was in fifth or sixth grade at the time. We practiced all day for three days, and finally, we performed in front of the whole school. I was nervous at first, but I felt proud after the performance.

Suggestion: 意見は明確ですが、「try anything as possible」は不自然なので「try as many different things as possible」と言いましょう。また、「doing their best」は主語と一致していないため、「doing our best」または一般論として「doing their best」と文全体を整える必要があります。「leads us to have more confidence in gaining skills」は「helps us become more confident and develop new skills」の方が自然です。最後が未完のため、具体例や結果を加えて、理由を最後まで完成させてください。

Example: Yes, I think people should try as many different things as possible. Trying new activities helps us become more confident and develop new skills. For example, someone who joins a sports club may discover a talent they did not know they had. Even if they are not successful, they can learn from the experience.

× Yes, I took part in dance and sing activities when I was in elementary school.

✓ Yes, I took part in dancing and singing activities when I was in elementary school.

After the noun activities, the two activities should be expressed in parallel forms. Dancing and singing are both gerunds ending in -ing, so they match grammatically.

× I think it was in fifth or six grade.

✓ I think it was in fifth or sixth grade.

The ordinal number must be sixth, not six, because it describes the position of the grade. Sixth grade is the correct expression.

× We practiced whole day of three days and finally we show our performance.

✓ We practiced the whole day for three days, and finally we showed our performance.

The expression whole day normally requires the definite article: the whole day. In addition, the past-tense form showed is needed because the event happened in the past.

× We practiced whole day of three days and finally we show our performance.

✓ We practiced the whole day for three days, and finally we showed our performance.

Use for to describe the duration of an activity: for three days. Of is not the appropriate preposition in this expression.

× We practiced whole day of three days and finally we show our performance.

✓ We practiced the whole day for three days, and finally we showed our performance.

The performance took place when the speaker was a child, so the verb should be in the past tense. The past form of show is showed.

× Yes, I think we should try anything as possible.

✓ Yes, I think we should try as many different things as possible.

When referring to a large number of countable activities or experiences, use as many different things as possible. Anything does not fit the intended meaning or the as ... as possible structure.

× That's because trying something new while doing their best leads us to have more confidence in gaining skills.

✓ That's because trying something new while doing our best helps us gain confidence and skills.

The subject is we, so the possessive pronoun should be our rather than their. Also, helps us gain is the natural verb pattern after helps us.