Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Your answer is clear, relevant, and well developed, with specific examples and a good contrast using “but.” However, say “the guitar, piano, and drums” or “several instruments such as the guitar, piano, and drums.” The phrase “whether I want or not” is incomplete and should be changed to “whether I wanted to do them or not” because you are talking about the past. You could also use “activities” instead of repeating “hobbies” and “opportunities.”

Example: Yes, I had plenty of opportunities to try new activities as a child. For instance, I played basketball and volleyball, and I also learned to play several instruments, including the guitar, piano, and drums. My parents encouraged me to explore different interests, but they always let me decide which ones I wanted to continue.

Suggestion: You give a clear opinion and explain it with a reason, but several expressions are unnatural or grammatically inaccurate. Replace “do varieties” with “try a variety of activities,” “find where they’re interested in” with “discover what interests them,” and “what they really talented at” with “what they are really talented at.” The transition “Well, however” is awkward; use “However” instead. Also, “stop doing it” is too absolute and unclear, so explain that people should gradually focus on a main area while still maintaining other interests. Use “one specific area” rather than “specific one thing.”

Example: Yes, I think people should try a wide range of activities when they are young because this helps them discover what interests them and identify their strengths. However, once they enter university, they may need to focus more on one specific area in order to prepare for their future career. They can still explore other interests, but their main priority should probably be their studies or professional goals.

× My parents offered these opportunities and gave advice on what to try, but they always let me decide whether I want or not.

✓ My parents offered these opportunities and gave me advice about what to try, but they always let me decide whether I wanted to take part or not.

The sentence describes your childhood, so the verb should remain in the past tense: wanted, not want. The phrase whether I want or not is incomplete because take part or do so is omitted. Using whether I wanted to take part or not makes the meaning and tense clear.

× Yes, I think people should try to do varieties when they're young because it really helps people to find where they're really interested in and what they really talented at.

✓ Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities when they are young because this really helps them find what they are interested in and what they are talented at.

Try to do varieties is not a natural sentence structure. Use try a variety of activities instead. Also, people should be replaced with them after the subject has already been mentioned, and what is more appropriate than where because interested in and talented at are followed by a thing or activity, not a place.

× Yes, I think people should try to do varieties when they're young because it really helps people to find where they're really interested in and what they really talented at.

✓ Yes, I think people should try a variety of activities when they are young because this really helps them find what they are interested in and what they are talented at.

The clause what they really talented at is missing the verb are. The adjective talented must be used with the verb be: what they are talented at. The same structure is used in what they are interested in.

× Well, however, people should stop doing it when they get to the university or college because that's a time people should focus on specific one thing for their future career.

✓ However, people should stop doing this when they go to university or college because that is when they should focus on one specific thing for their future careers.

The correct adjective order is one specific thing, not specific one thing. One comes before the adjective specific because it functions as a determiner. The revised sentence also uses a more natural expression: that is when they should focus on one specific thing.