Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Improve grammar, fluency and conciseness. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, reduce fillers (uh), and add one specific detail. Link sentences with a simple connector. For example, say you took piano lessons for X years or attended weekly painting classes and describe a specific benefit.

Example: Yes. I had many opportunities because my parents encouraged me to try new things. For example, I took piano lessons for three years and attended a weekly painting class. As a result, I became more confident and developed a creative hobby that I still enjoy.

Suggestion: Make your opinion direct and concise, avoid repetition and filler words, and correct grammar (use gerunds or infinitives correctly). Provide one clear reason and an example or brief explanation using a linking word. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I think people should try many different things because it builds confidence and problem-solving skills. For instance, learning a new sport taught me how to cope with setbacks and adapt to new situations.

× Yes, I have much of opportunities because since my parents really encouraged me to, uh, trying something I have ever experienced before.

✓ Yes, I had many opportunities because my parents really encouraged me to try things I had never experienced before.

The original uses 'much of opportunities' which is ungrammatical; 'opportunities' is countable so use 'many'. Tense consistency: the question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense 'had' and 'encouraged'. 'Trying' should be the bare infinitive 'to try' after 'encouraged me to'. 'I have ever experienced before' is awkward and incorrect in this context; use past perfect 'I had never experienced before' to indicate prior absence of experience. Suggestions: use countable quantifiers (many/few), match tense to context, and use the correct verb form after 'encourage' (encourage someone to do something).

× So I have chance to take in different kinds of courses like piano or different kinds of paintings classes and that totally build my confidence.

✓ So I had the chance to take different kinds of courses, like piano or various painting classes, and that totally built my confidence.

Tense inconsistency: maintain past tense 'had' and 'built' to match childhood context. Article and noun phrase issues: 'have chance' should be 'had the chance'. 'Take in' is incorrect here; use 'take' courses. 'Different kinds of paintings classes' is ungrammatical; use 'various painting classes' or 'different kinds of painting classes'. Subject-verb agreement: 'that totally build' should be 'that totally built' to agree with past tense subject. Suggestions: include appropriate articles ('the'), use correct verb phrases ('take courses'), and keep tense consistent throughout the sentence.

× I think it's totally makes sense because uh, dealing with, uh, trying new things can uh, not only build people's confidence, but also can totally make them, uh, more capable to tackling the unexpected challenges during their life.

✓ I think it totally makes sense because trying new things can not only build people's confidence but also make them more capable of tackling unexpected challenges in their lives.

Redundancy and incorrect phrase forms: 'I think it's totally makes sense' mixes 'it makes sense' with 'totally' incorrectly; correct form is 'it totally makes sense' or 'I totally think it makes sense'. Remove filler words for clarity. 'Dealing with, trying new things' is redundant; use 'trying new things'. Modal/auxiliary placement: 'can not only build... but also can totally make' is awkward; better to place 'can' before the correlative 'not only... but also' and omit the second 'can'. Preposition and verb form: 'more capable to tackling' is wrong; correct collocation is 'more capable of tackling'. 'During their life' is unnatural here; use 'in their lives'. Suggestions: simplify structure, place modal verbs correctly, use correct collocations ('capable of doing something'), and maintain plurality ('lives') when referring generally to people.