Opportunities— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific details (when, what you did, how you felt). Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and repeated words. Use correct tense and articles (e.g., “I joined the Girl Scouts of the Philippines when my teacher invited me”).

Example: I joined the Girl Scouts of the Philippines when I was ten after my teacher encouraged me to try it. I learned camping skills and teamwork there, which made me more confident and sociable.

Suggestion: Give a clear opinion first (yes or no), then support it with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (however, because, for example). Remove hesitations and correct phrasing (e.g., “It depends on the person” not “depends to the people”).

Example: I think it depends on the person. For example, some people benefit from trying many activities because they discover new interests and build varied skills, while others prefer to focus deeply on one pursuit to achieve mastery.

× Yes, we have this uh, Girl Scout of the Philippines when when I was asked by my teacher to UMM to join and I was one of those chosen one to to.

✓ Yes. I was a member of the Girl Scouts of the Philippines. My teacher asked me to join, and I was one of those chosen.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: run-on fragments, repetition ('when when', 'to to'), incorrect noun phrase ('this uh, Girl Scout of the Philippines') and wrong article/number agreement ('one of those chosen one'). This fits 'Sentence structure errors' because clauses are not connected correctly and the sentence is unclear. Suggestion: break into shorter sentences, remove fillers and repetitions, use the correct organization name 'Girl Scouts of the Philippines', and use the phrase 'one of those chosen' or 'one of the chosen ones'.

× I think umm, it depends to the people if they want to have many arrangements to take, uh, in their lives.

✓ I think it depends on the people whether they want to make many arrangements in their lives.

The original uses incorrect preposition 'depends to' and awkward phrasing 'have many arrangements to take'. This is primarily a present tense usage combined with preposition error; the verb 'depends' is present simple and should be followed by 'on'. Also use 'whether' to introduce the alternative and 'make arrangements' is the correct collocation. Suggestion: use 'depends on' and collocations like 'make arrangements' or 'take on many activities'.

× Like today we are umm, a lot of activities available, like fun one.

✓ Nowadays there are a lot of activities available, such as fun ones.

The original sentence misorders subject and verb ('we are... a lot of activities available') and uses singular 'fun one' incorrectly. This is a present-tense/state description error: use 'there are' to state existence and plural 'ones' to match 'a lot of activities'. Also 'nowadays' or 'today' should be used appropriately. Suggestion: use existential 'there is/are' and match plural nouns and pronouns ('fun ones').