Tiredness— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Make the response more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g. "twenty four hours" and "twenty four seven").

Example: Yes, I often feel tired. I look after my two young children on my own, so I’m responsible for them all day; as a result, I’m usually exhausted by evening.

Suggestion: Use a clear topic sentence and correct verb forms; replace vague phrases with specific descriptions and use linking words (e.g. "because", "so"). Avoid contradictory or unclear expressions like "elevated low energy."

Example: I usually feel tired at the end of the day because my energy levels drop after constant childcare, so I often become irritable and less patient.

Suggestion: Provide a concise sequence of actions with correct verbs and linking words. Use varied vocabulary (e.g. "set things aside", "rest", "take a short nap"). Limit to up to five sentences and avoid repetition.

Example: When I feel tired, I usually set my tasks aside and sit down to relax; sometimes I lie down for a short nap or just close my eyes and rest for twenty minutes to recharge.

Suggestion: Finish your sentence and keep it concise. Use one clear reason and contrast with a linking word (e.g. "although"). Avoid repeating phrases like "I prioritize" and complete your thought.

Example: I usually prefer to stay home and rest because I need to recover my energy; although going out with friends makes me happy, I find it leaves me more tired afterwards.

× To be honest, I feel tired every day because I'm taking care of my two kids and I'm alone in our house twenty four hours and I took care of them twenty four seven.

✓ To be honest, I feel tired every day because I take care of my two kids and I'm alone in our house twenty-four hours a day and I take care of them twenty-four seven.

The student mixed present continuous and simple present inconsistently. Use simple present ('I take care') for habitual actions. Also phrase 'twenty-four hours a day' is standard and 'twenty-four seven' should match present tense as 'I take care of them twenty-four seven'. Use hyphens for 'twenty-four' and include 'a day' for clarity.

× I would feel tired at the end of the day because I think my energy just dropping and I feel so elevated low energy and the time that I get irritated.

✓ I feel tired at the end of the day because I think my energy just drops, and I feel very low in energy at the times when I get irritated.

The student used 'would feel' and 'dropping' incorrectly. 'Would' is unnecessary for a habitual statement; use simple present 'I feel'. Use the present simple verb 'drops' for regular occurrence. 'Dropping' needed an auxiliary ('is dropping') but simple present is preferable. 'Elevated low energy' is incorrect word choice; use 'very low in energy' and restructure 'the time that I get irritated' to 'at the times when I get irritated' for clarity.

× What I do when I feel tired is I just put everything that I do put it down and try to relax and try to sit or sometimes lie down and have a rest.

✓ When I feel tired, I put everything down and try to relax, either by sitting or sometimes lying down and resting.

The original sentence has redundancy ('put everything that I do put it down') and awkward word order. Rephrase to a clear subject-verb structure: 'When I feel tired, I put everything down and try to relax.' Use 'lying down' (present participle) after 'sometimes' and 'resting' as the activity. Remove unnecessary words to improve fluency.

× And I just want to close my eyes and think.

✓ I just want to close my eyes and think.

Starting the sentence with 'And' is acceptable in speech but unnecessary in formal correction. The tense is fine (present desire), so remove the leading conjunction for conciseness: 'I just want to close my eyes and think.'

× I prefer to go to go to rest and stay in the house because I prioritize my body.

✓ I prefer to go to rest and stay in the house because I prioritize my body.

This sentence contains a repeated phrase 'to go to go to'. Removing the duplicate fixes the error. 'Prefer to go to rest' is slightly informal but acceptable; you could also say 'prefer to rest'.

× I prioritize rest over going out because going out with my friends really make me happy but at the end of the day it gives me more

✓ I prioritize rest over going out because going out with my friends really makes me happy, but at the end of the day it tires me more.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'going out with my friends really make me happy' should be 'makes' because 'going out' is a singular gerund subject. The sentence was also incomplete ('it gives me more'); clarify meaning as 'it tires me more'. Use comma before 'but' to join clauses.