Tiredness— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be direct and clear: begin with a simple topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific reasons using correct vocabulary and linking words. Avoid long unclear phrases and pronunciation errors that make meaning unclear. For example, say how often and why, using words like "often," "because," and "sometimes."

Example: Yes, I often feel tired because I work as a video editor in the animation industry. I usually work at least eight hours a day, and sometimes I stay late to meet deadlines, which makes my days very long.

Suggestion: Start with a clear topic sentence stating when you feel tired, then give one or two specific reasons. Use correct verbs and simple linking words (for example, "because," "after"). Avoid unclear fragments and provide concrete examples (e.g., long meetings, physical tasks, or stressful conversations).

Example: I usually feel tired after a long day at work, especially in the evening. For instance, I get fatigued after long editing sessions and stressful meetings with my boss, when I have to concentrate for many hours.

Suggestion: Answer directly with a topic sentence about your usual action and then add a specific detail or benefit. Use correct nouns and simple adjectives, and avoid repeating words. If you mention an activity (e.g., onsen, gym), give one reason why it helps you relax.

Example: When I feel tired, I go to a local onsen or spa occasionally to relax. The warm baths help my muscles recover and I feel more comfortable and refreshed afterwards.

× Yes, I film pire because I work as an editor in the armational industry so I have to work at least eight hours but sometimes I have to work more to spend more time because animation industry is hectic.

✓ Yes, I feel tired because I work as an editor in the animation industry, so I usually work at least eight hours, and sometimes I have to work longer because the animation industry is hectic.

Multiple sentence structure and word choice errors: 'film pire' appears to be a misspelling of 'feel tired'; 'armational' should be 'animation'; run-on sentence lacking proper commas and conjunctions. Also missing definite article before 'animation industry'. Suggestion: correct misspellings, add commas to separate clauses, use 'usually' for habitual action, and add 'the' before 'animation industry' to make the noun phrase specific. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I usually I feel tired after working because I have to a lot of energy during walking and I don't I'm not whether to talk with my boss

✓ I usually feel tired after working because I have to use a lot of energy during the day, and I'm not sure whether to talk with my boss.

Tense and word choice issues: duplicate 'I usually I feel' is redundant; 'have to a lot of energy' is incorrect—should be 'have to use a lot of energy'; 'during walking' is awkward, better 'during the day' or 'while walking' depending on meaning; 'I don't I'm not whether' is ungrammatical—use 'I'm not sure whether'. Suggestion: remove redundancy, use correct verb phrases ('use a lot of energy'), choose appropriate time phrase, and replace unclear fragments with 'I'm not sure whether'. Grammar problem type ID:6

× When I feel tired I go to the Onseng over Center time to time because I feel feel comfortable and I like to do internal and I work

✓ When I feel tired, I go to the onsen or a center from time to time because I feel comfortable there, and I like to relax and reflect on my work.

Several issues: 'Onseng' is likely 'onsen' (Japanese hot spring) and 'over Center' is unclear—interpreted as 'or a center'; missing commas; duplicated 'feel'; 'do internal and I work' is ungrammatical—probably intended 'relax' or 'do internal reflection' and 'think about my work'. Suggestion: correct spelling, add commas, remove duplication, replace unclear phrases with 'relax and reflect on my work' to convey the intended meaning. Grammar problem type ID:26