Politeness— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g., “I learned politeness mainly by watching my parents”), then add one or two specific supporting details and a linking word. Avoid long, awkward phrases and correct small grammar issues (e.g., “self-demonstration” → “their example”; “when studying from them” → “by observing them”). Keep to 2–4 sentences and use natural vocabulary.

Example: I learned to be polite mainly by watching my parents. For example, they always greeted neighbors and said “please” and “thank you,” so I picked up those habits by observing them. As a result, I try to be respectful in my conversations and help others when I can.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with linking words. Use correct phrasing and avoid unclear expressions (e.g., “ignoring others' needs” and “you will not be welcome in your social circle”). Break into shorter sentences and include examples or consequences to support your point.

Example: Yes, I think politeness is very important because it makes communication smoother and builds trust. For instance, if you ignore other people’s needs or are rude, they are less likely to want to work or socialize with you. Therefore, being polite helps maintain good relationships at work and in everyday life.

× I think self demonstration of my parents is a very important part when they try to behave politely and treat others in a very appropriate way that I learned from them by observing what they did.

✓ I think my parents' own example was a very important factor; I learned to be polite by observing how they behaved and treated others.

The original sentence is long and contains several structural issues: awkward noun phrase 'self demonstration of my parents', unclear clause connection with 'when', and misplaced relative clause 'that I learned from them by observing what they did'. Break the sentence into clearer parts, use a possessive to show parents' example, and move the learning clause next to the verb 'learned' for clarity. Use past tense 'was' and 'learned' to match 'as a child'. Suggestions: simplify complex noun phrases, use possessive ('my parents' example'), and place dependent clauses next to the verb they modify. Second suggestion: ensure subject-verb relations are clear and avoid overlong sentences by splitting into two.

× So I am a well behaved child when studying from them.

✓ So I was a well-behaved child while learning from them.

The speaker refers to childhood, so past tense should be used rather than present. 'Well behaved' needs a hyphen as a compound adjective before the noun. 'When studying from them' is unnatural; use 'while learning from them' or 'while I was learning from them'. Suggestions: match tense to the time reference (childhood = past), use hyphen for compound adjectives before nouns, and prefer 'while' for concurrent past actions.

× Yes, I agree that being polite is very important because it helps to facilitate communication between people if you are not polite like ignoring others need that you will not be welcome in your rug pace and you cannot have a very good interpersonal relationship.

✓ Yes, I agree that being polite is very important because it helps facilitate communication between people. If you are not polite, for example by ignoring others' needs, you will not be welcomed in your social circle, and you cannot build good interpersonal relationships.

This sentence is a run-on with unclear connectors and several awkward phrases: 'helps to facilitate' is wordy, 'if you are not polite like ignoring others need' is ungrammatical, 'rug pace' is likely a wrong phrase for 'social circle' or 'group', and 'interpersonal relationship' should be plural or countable. Corrections: split into two sentences, replace 'helps to facilitate' with 'helps facilitate', use 'for example by' to introduce an example, change 'others need' to possessive 'others' needs', and replace 'will not be welcome in your rug pace' with 'will not be welcomed in your social circle'. Use plural 'relationships' for general meaning. Suggestions: avoid run-on sentences, use clear connectors, and check idiomatic expressions.