Politeness— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 문장 구조와 흐름을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 정리하세요. 답변 시작에서 바로 주제를 선언하고(bow and polite language), 이어서 구체적인 예시(예: bow to adults, using honorifics)와 연결어(for example, also)를 사용해 문장을 이어가세요. 불필요한 말을 줄이고 어색한 표현(“like that word”, “people who is adult”)을 교정하세요. 또한 어휘 다양성을 늘려 ‘polite grammar’ 대신 ‘honorifics’나 ‘formal speech’ 같은 정확한 단어를 쓰세요.

Example: I learned politeness mainly from my family and culture. For example, in Korea we bow to adults to show respect, and we use honorifics in our language when speaking to elders. Also, my parents taught me to greet people politely and to use formal expressions in public.

Suggestion: 의견 제시는 명확하게 하고 이유를 두세 가지로 구체적으로 제시하세요. 간결한 주제문을 사용한 다음, ‘because’로 이유를 연결하고, 각각의 이유를 짧은 예시나 결과로 뒷받침하세요. 중복 표현(‘and then’, ‘quite’)과 어법 오류(‘more better’, ‘being a polite’)를 피하고 정확한 형식을 사용하세요.

Example: Yes, I believe politeness is very important because it helps build trust and good relationships. For instance, being polite to colleagues makes teamwork smoother, and polite behavior in public creates a pleasant atmosphere for everyone.

× Umm, as I think that is culture by culture.

✓ Umm, I think it depends on the culture.

The original sentence uses incorrect structure and preposition 'as' and the phrase 'culture by culture' is unidiomatic. Use 'depends on' to express dependency and 'the culture' or 'each culture' for clarity. Suggestion: say 'it depends on the culture' or 'it varies by culture.'

× But for me, as I'm Korean, I usually learned that I need to bow into the persons who is adult and then say hello to the other people.

✓ For me, as I'm Korean, I learned that I should bow to adults and then say hello to other people.

Errors: 'learned' can be correct but 'usually learned' is odd; 'bow into' is incorrect preposition (use 'bow to'); 'the persons who is adult' has plural/singular and pronoun errors ('persons' -> 'people' or 'adults'; verb agreement 'is' -> 'are' if plural). Also 'should' is more appropriate than 'need to'. Suggestion: use 'I learned that I should bow to adults' or 'I was taught to bow to adults.'

× And then in Korean, we have like polite, uh, grammar such like, uh, yours.

✓ In Korean we have polite grammar, such as honorifics.

Phrase 'have like polite, uh, grammar such like, uh, yours' is ungrammatical and uses filler words. Use 'such as' to introduce examples and 'honorifics' is the correct term. Suggestion: 'In Korean, we have polite grammar, such as honorifics.'

× And then I usually use some kind of like that word.

✓ And I usually use that kind of word.

Original misorders words and contains filler 'some kind of like that word.' Correct expression is 'that kind of word' or 'words like that.' Suggestion: 'I usually use words like that.'

× Yeah, I think that being polite is super important because but being a polite and then the adult or something other persons feel more better than before and then feel good to me.

✓ Yes, I think being polite is very important because when I am polite, adults and other people feel better and it makes me feel good.

Multiple issues: unnecessary conjunctions 'because but'; 'a polite' incorrect article; 'the adult or something other persons' ungrammatical; 'feel more better' double comparative. Correct structure: state reason clearly and maintain subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: simplify: 'I think being polite is important because it makes others feel better and makes me feel good.'

× And then I think that it is quite a great one and then yeah, it is quite like a helpful for me.

✓ I think it is very helpful for me.

Redundant and informal fillers: 'quite a great one' and 'quite like a helpful' are ungrammatical. Use 'very helpful' or 'quite helpful.' Remove unnecessary 'one' and 'a' before 'helpful.' Suggestion: 'I think it is very helpful for me.'