Paper— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Reduce hesitations and correct awkward phrases (e.g., "I'm not a handmade" → "I'm not good at handicrafts").

Example: No, I have never made paper crafts because I'm not good at handicrafts. Moreover, they require a lot of patience and attention to detail, which I don't enjoy, so I usually avoid such activities.

Suggestion: Give a direct topic sentence and provide specific details and a linking word. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like "artistic cards"—use "art class" or "crafts class."

Example: As a child, I liked drawing and doing simple paper crafts. For example, my favorite was art class because I could draw and make cards instead of reading, which helped me relax and express my creativity.

Suggestion: Answer directly and structure reasons with linking words (e.g., "because" and "so"). Reduce fillers like "umm" and be specific about occasions when you write letters.

Example: Yes, I still write physical letters because they feel more personal. For example, I write handwritten notes for close friends and family on special occasions since the handwriting conveys emotion and warmth that emails lack.

Suggestion: Provide a clear opinion and support it with one or two concise reasons using linking words. Fix unclear phrases like "handpaid handwriting paper" to "handwritten letters."

Example: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters because they are memorable and show effort. For instance, people often save letters from loved ones as keepsakes since they reflect time and thought invested.

Suggestion: Start with a clear topic sentence and give specific examples of when you use them. Limit hesitation and use linking words such as "because" and "for example."

Example: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen because I love journaling. For example, when I'm walking or waiting for public transport I jot down thoughts to clear my mind and manage overthinking.

× No, I'm not a handmade.

✓ No, I'm not handmade.

Using 'a handmade' is incorrect because 'handmade' is an adjective, not a noun countable with 'a'. Remove the article and keep the adjective: 'I'm not handmade' is still awkward; better: 'I'm not good at making things by hand' but per instruction correct only listed types, so adjust pronoun/article use accordingly.

× I I I don't like handmaking things so I have never made any craft with paper before.

✓ I don't like making things by hand, so I have never made any paper craft before.

'Handmaking' is nonstandard; use 'making things by hand'. 'Any craft with paper' is awkward; use 'any paper craft'. Also remove repeated 'I'. This fixes word choice and structure.

× But I feel like because I need to spend more attention and I need to be more detail minded.

✓ But I feel that I need to pay more attention and be more detail-minded.

'Feel like because' is an incorrect conjunction combination. Use 'feel that' or 'feel like' alone. 'Spend more attention' should be 'pay more attention'. Hyphenate 'detail-minded' and streamline verbs.

× But in fact I'm not that kind of person so I think This is why I don't I've never made it before.

✓ But in fact I'm not that kind of person, so I think that's why I've never made one before.

Sentence had redundancy ('don't I've never') and capitalization error. Replace with 'that's why I've never made one before' to convey reason clearly and fix tense and subject.

× Umm, I think it's drawing even I am not really good at painting as well.

✓ Umm, I think drawing; though I am not really good at painting.

Original mixed 'it's drawing' (awkward) with present tense. Use gerund 'drawing' as noun. Add 'though' to connect contrast and keep present tense consistent.

× And because when I was young, like my favorite class was artistic cards.

✓ When I was young, my favorite class was art class.

'Artistic cards' is incorrect here; likely meant 'art class'. 'Like' is filler and can be removed. Use correct noun phrase.

× The art cards because I don't need to read books and I don't need, I just need to focus on my writing process.

✓ It was art class because I didn't need to read books; I just needed to focus on my creative process.

Pronoun 'The art cards' is wrong; use 'It was art class'. Tense should be past ('didn't', 'needed') to match 'when I was young'. 'Writing process' is unclear—'creative process' fits context.

× I still write physical letters because I think this is more umm.

✓ I still write physical letters because I think that's more personal.

Sentence trailing 'more umm' is incomplete. Replace with 'more personal' to express intended meaning. Use contraction 'that's' to sound natural and keep present tense.

× You can feel umm, how the people like.

✓ You can feel how people feel.

Original has awkward 'how the people like.' Use 'how people feel' to express emotion; remove extra article and verb 'like' which is incorrect here.

× Like for me, I can, you can feel how my feeling was during umm, during my writing process so and also I can feel the heart and the warmth of the writer.

✓ For me, you can feel my feelings during the writing process, and I can feel the warmth from the writer.

Pronoun reference and tense inconsistent. Use 'you can feel my feelings' and 'during the writing process' (present/past mix resolved). Simplify to avoid redundancy and clarify meaning.

× I think yes, because this is memorable, because this, if you write a handpaid handwriting paper mostly spend your time, uh, your energy and you need to, umm, organize before you write, right?

✓ I think so, because handwritten letters are memorable; if you write by hand you spend time and energy and need to organize your thoughts before writing.

Many article and word-choice errors: 'a handpaid handwriting paper' is incorrect. Use 'handwritten letters' and restructure sentence for clarity. 'Mostly spend your time' -> 'you spend time'.

× And I think yes and yeah.

✓ So I think yes.

Reduce redundancy; keep present tense simple. Multiple affirmations unnecessary.

× Yes, because I love journaling so I do take papers and pens when I just going outdoor umm because also this is a way for me to clear my mind.

✓ Yes, because I love journaling, so I take paper and pens when I go outdoors; it's a way for me to clear my mind.

Tense and verb form fixed: 'do take' unnecessary, 'when I just going outdoor' incorrect—use 'when I go outdoors'. Use singular 'paper' or 'notebooks' and 'pens'. Combine clauses for fluency.

× Sometimes I'm I'm a overthinker so it helps me to reach down like what I'm concerned about and umm clean up my mind so.

✓ Sometimes I'm an overthinker, so it helps me identify my concerns and clear my mind.

Article error 'a overthinker' should be 'an overthinker'. 'Reach down like what I'm concerned about' is unidiomatic; use 'identify my concerns' and 'clear my mind' for clarity.