Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 문장이 자연스럽고 의미 전달은 되지만 몇 가지 문제가 있습니다. 구어체 표현("Yeah")은 괜찮으나 비문(예: "riding a chisel"), 반복("run, run around"), 문장 구조의 어색함과 철자·어휘 오류(예: "riding a chisel" 대신 "riding scooters" 등) 때문에 감점됩니다. 개선 포인트: 1) 핵심 문장을 먼저 말하고 2) 구체적 활동을 정확한 어휘로 제시하며 3) 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 4) 연결어(for example, and, so)를 사용해 문장을 매끄럽게 만드세요.

Example: Yes, I loved going to the park after school when I was a child. There were many friends, so we often played basketball and rode scooters together. Also, we would run around the playground and play tag, which was always great fun.

Suggestion: 의도는 분명하지만 여러 어휘와 문법 오류가 있습니다(예: "read about book", "write a bike", "take a snap"). 자연스럽고 정확한 동사 표현으로 바꾸고, 활동을 구체적으로 설명하세요. 또한 연결어(For example, I usually...)로 활동을 나열하면 더 논리적입니다.

Example: Yes, I love going to the park on my days off. For example, I usually go there to relax, read a book on a bench, ride my bike, or take photos, which helps me feel refreshed.

Suggestion: 내용이 명확하고 논리적이며 이유도 제시되어 있습니다. 다만 표현을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 다듬으면 좋습니다(예: "refine the air" → "clean the air", 반복되는 "fresh air" 정리). 또한 한 가지 예시나 구체적 효과(예: reduce pollution, provide shade)를 덧붙이면 점수가 오릅니다.

Example: Yes, I would. Parks with trees help clean the air and reduce pollution, and they also provide pleasant spaces to relax, exercise, or spend time with family.

Suggestion: 전반적으로 의도는 좋지만 어휘와 문장 흐름이 어색합니다("people who sing a song" 대신 "street performers" 등). 감정 표현도 중복됨("I feel, I want to feel relaxed"). 개선 포인트: 먼저 목적지를 명확히 말하고, 왜 가고 싶은지 구체적 이유(예: scenery, performances, activities)를 간결한 문장으로 제시하세요.

Example: I'd like to visit Central Park in New York because I've heard it has beautiful landscapes and many street performers. I hope to stroll around the lawns, listen to live music, and relax in a peaceful atmosphere.

× There were lots of friends there, so we used to play basketball, riding a chisel and run, run around, which was really fun.

✓ There were lots of friends there, so we used to play basketball, ride a carousel, and run around, which was really fun.

The sentence contains incorrect verb forms and a wrong noun. 'Riding a chisel' is incorrect; likely 'ride a carousel' or 'ride on a swing' is intended. Parallel verb forms should be base verbs after 'used to' when listing activities: 'play', 'ride', 'run'. Use commas and 'and' for correct list structure.

× I often go there to relax, read about book, write a bike or take a snap that makes me feel refreshed.

✓ I often go there to relax, read a book, ride a bike, or take a photo that makes me feel refreshed.

'read about book' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'read a book' (article 'a' + noun). 'write a bike' is incorrect; likely 'ride a bike'. 'take a snap' is informal; 'take a photo' is more natural. Ensure correct articles and verb choices.

× Yes, I'd like to have more parks in my city because trees in parks help refine the air and provide fresh air, and they would also offer pleasant space to relax or exercise.

✓ Yes, I'd like to have more parks in my city because the trees in parks help clean the air and provide fresh air, and they would also offer pleasant spaces to relax or exercise.

Use definite article 'the' when referring to specific trees in parks in general contexts. 'Refine the air' is unnatural; 'clean the air' or 'improve the air' is correct. 'Pleasant space' should be plural 'pleasant spaces' to match 'more parks' and general meaning.

× I heard that there are so many beautiful spaces and people who sing a song.

✓ I heard that there are so many beautiful spaces and people who sing.

'People who sing a song' is awkward; 'people who sing' or 'people singing' is more natural. The noun 'song' is unnecessary and creates redundancy. Use concise relative clause.

× When I go there, I feel, I want to feel relaxed.

✓ When I go there, I want to feel relaxed.

The clause 'I feel, I want to feel relaxed' is redundant and ungrammatical. Use a single coherent present-tense clause: 'I want to feel relaxed' or 'I feel relaxed' depending on meaning. Maintain tense consistency and avoid repetition.