Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: 回答は主題に直接触れていますが、時制や語彙の誤り、言い換えと繰り返しが多く、具体性が不足しています。まず過去について話すので『recent year(s)』『so hot』のような現在志向の表現は避け、理由を明確に述べましょう。文を短めに保ち、流暢さを改善するためにフィラーを減らし、接続語（because, so, therefore）で論理を整理してください。例を一つ挙げて具体性を出すとより良いです。

Example: No, I didn’t enjoy going to parks when I was a child because the weather was often too hot for playing outside. For example, summers were very hot in my town, so I preferred staying indoors and playing games.

Suggestion: 良いポイント（現在の習慣を述べている）がありますが、時制の一致や語順、固有名詞の扱いで改善が必要です。現在の習慣なら現在形（I usually take walks）を使い、場所の説明は簡潔に。接続語（and, so）で文をつなぎ、具体的な頻度や時間を付け加えると自然に聞こえます。発音の自然さのために不要なフィラー（umm）を減らしましょう。

Example: Yes, I do. There is a large park near my house called Albany Kowen, and I usually walk my dog there every morning.

Suggestion: 意見は明確ですが文法と語彙の誤用（praying→playing、recent year→recently/these days）や時制の混乱があります。論理を整理して理由を具体的に述べ、接続詞（because, so, therefore）で因果関係をはっきりさせてください。また、例（playing video games）を具体的にすると説得力が増します。

Example: Yes, I would. Recently, children have fewer outdoor spaces, so many spend more time at home playing video games. Therefore, building more parks would give them healthier options for exercise and socialising.

Suggestion: 意図は伝わりますが表現が不自然で語の繰り返しがあります。『foreign countries parks』は『parks in other countries』が自然です。比較をするときは具体例（larger green spaces, themed parks）を挙げ、理由を明確に述べましょう。文は2〜3文で簡潔にまとめ、フィラーを減らしてください。

Example: I’d like to visit parks in other countries in the future because they often have much larger green areas and different designs. For example, I’m interested in seeing famous botanical gardens and expansive city parks abroad.

× I don't think so because in recent year, uh, going out to is so dangerous because it is too hot to play. Pray out, play outside.

✓ I don't think so because in recent years going out is very dangerous since it is too hot to play outside.

The student uses 'recent year' which should be plural 'recent years' for a general time period; 'going out to is' has extra 'to' and incorrect structure—use 'going out is'; 'Pray out' is likely mispronounced 'play out' but unnecessary; use 'since' or 'because' once for clarity. Suggestion: use 'in recent years' for ongoing recent time, remove extra words, and keep one subordinate clause.

× Yes I do umm my next to my house, it has a big park, Albany Kowen and I always went to take a walk with my dog in the morning.

✓ Yes I do. Next to my house there is a big park called Albany Kowen and I always go there to take a walk with my dog in the morning.

The original lacks articles and has incorrect verb tense. 'my next to my house' is ungrammatical—use 'Next to my house there is...'; 'it has a big park' misplaces subject; 'Albany Kowen' needs 'called' for naming; 'I always went' uses past tense but context is habitual present, so use 'I always go'. Suggestion: use 'there is' for existence, include 'called' for names, and use present simple for habitual actions.

× I think so too because recent year, umm, children have no space to praying outside. So many children have uh, spend the time in home, for example, playing games and so on.

✓ I think so too because in recent years children have no space to play outside. Many children spend their time at home, for example, playing games and so on.

Use 'in recent years' (plural) for ongoing recent period. 'have no space to praying' mixes infinitive and -ing; after 'space to' use base verb 'play' or use 'space for playing'. 'have spend' is incorrect auxiliary/verb combination—use simple present 'spend' for habitual action. 'in home' should be 'at home'. Suggestion: use correct infinitive or gerund structures ('space to play' or 'space for playing'), correct verb tense for habits, and proper preposition 'at' for location.

× I want to go to the foreign countries parks in the future because the scale of the park is so different, uh, different in in the foreign countries.

✓ I want to go to parks in foreign countries in the future because the size of parks is very different there.

'the foreign countries parks' incorrectly orders articles and nouns; say 'parks in foreign countries' or 'the parks in foreign countries'. Repetition 'different in in the foreign countries' is redundant; use 'there' or 'in foreign countries'. 'scale of the park' is unnatural—use 'size of parks'. Suggestion: reorder noun phrases, avoid redundant words, and use appropriate collective references ('parks' plural) and adverbs like 'there'.