Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar ("going to park" → "going to the park") and avoid repeating "with my friends" twice.

Example: Yes — I loved going to the park as a child. For example, I often played on the seesaw and enjoyed games like hide-and-seek with my friends, and my parents would take us for evening walks, which I always looked forward to.

Suggestion: Reduce fillers ("Umm, yeah") and combine related ideas with linking words to sound more fluent. Use more precise vocabulary ("various people" instead of "a lot of different kind of people") and limit to 3–4 concise sentences.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I like watching people jog or play, and seeing children reminds me of my childhood. Sometimes I take a book and sit on a bench to read while enjoying the atmosphere.

Suggestion: Avoid vague or repetitive statements and clarify your point with reasons. Replace filler words and be specific about why more parks are desirable and who you would go with. Keep to 2–3 clear sentences.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green space for exercise and relaxation. I would enjoy exploring new parks with friends or family, as visiting with others makes the experience more pleasant.

Suggestion: Be specific and avoid awkward phrasing ("just along with the Riverside"). Start with a clear topic sentence naming the park, then give 1–2 concrete details and why you want to visit. Limit length and avoid repeating "I would love."

Example: Yes — one park I want to visit is the riverside park near the city centre. It has scenic benches and wide lawns where I could read a book or have a picnic with friends, and the riverside views make it especially appealing.

× Yes, I absolutely loved going to park as a child.

✓ Yes, I absolutely loved going to the park as a child.

The noun 'park' needs a definite article 'the' because it refers to parks in general in the context of a familiar or previously implied place; singular countable nouns normally require an article. Use 'the park' when speaking about the activity of going to parks as a known concept. Suggestion: Use 'the' with singular countable places when referring to them in general contexts (going to the park as a child).

× I remember going on a seesaw with my friends, playing hide and seek with my friends.

✓ I remember going on a seesaw and playing hide-and-seek with my friends.

The original repeats the phrase 'with my friends' and uses a comma splice. Combine the actions with 'and' and avoid repetition; 'hide-and-seek' is a compound noun usually hyphenated. This improves parallel structure and clarity. Suggestion: Use conjunctions to join actions and avoid unnecessary repetition.

× You know, when you see and meet a lot of different kind of people, you see a lot of people doing their own activities like jogging or playing.

✓ You know, when you see and meet a lot of different kinds of people, you see many people doing their own activities like jogging or playing.

Two issues: 'different kind of people' should be 'different kinds of people' (plural for 'kind' with 'different'); also 'a lot of people' is repetitive after 'see' so 'many people' reads better. The gerund 'doing' is fine. Suggestion: Use 'different kinds of' when referring to multiple types and avoid repeating the same phrase twice.

× I would also love to have a company where I can go and explore more parks.

✓ I would also love to have company so I can go and explore more parks.

'Have a company' suggests owning a business; the intended meaning is 'have company' (someone to accompany you). Also 'where' is unnecessary. Use 'have company' and 'so' to connect purpose. Suggestion: Use 'have company' for accompaniment and avoid 'a' which changes meaning.

× There would be 1 park that I'm very excited to see which is just along with the Riverside and the beautiful benches and you will get a beautiful view.

✓ There is one park that I'm very excited to see; it's right along the riverside with beautiful benches and a lovely view.

The use of 'would be' is incorrect for stating an existing park; use present 'is'. Also '1' should be written 'one' in formal speech, 'along with the Riverside' is awkward—use 'along the riverside'. The sentence was long and run-on; split and simplify. Suggestion: Use present tense 'is' for existing things, write numbers in words in speech, and break long sentences into clearer clauses.

× There is another one on the other side of the road.

✓ There is another one on the other side of the road.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Suggestion: N/A