Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g., 'pray' → 'play'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' correctly.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I enjoyed playing ball games there, such as baseball and basketball, because I could run around and spend time with my friends.

Suggestion: Give a clear topic sentence and then provide specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Replace vague phrases ('it makes comfortable') with precise descriptions of feelings. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I like being outdoors and watching the sky and the scenery because it relaxes me and helps me clear my mind.

Suggestion: Use formal phrasing ('want to' not 'wanna') and organize ideas: topic sentence + 1–2 specific reasons. Avoid fragmented endings. Use linking words like 'because' and 'especially'.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city, especially in urban areas, because there are many buildings and few trees. More parks would bring nature into the city and improve people's quality of life.

Suggestion: Answer directly and avoid double negatives and fillers. Start with a clear statement, then give a specific preference or example. Replace casual language ('wanna') with 'want to' and finish your sentence fully.

Example: Not really — I don't have a specific park in mind. I simply want to visit a park with pleasant views and peaceful surroundings where I can relax and enjoy nature.

× Going to park was my favorite time when I was in when I was small.

✓ Going to the park was my favorite activity when I was small.

Missing definite article 'the' before singular countable noun 'park'; awkward phrasing 'favorite time' and repeated 'when'. Use 'the park' and 'activity' to make the sentence natural.

× It is because I really like to go outside and pray with balls like baseball, basketball.

✓ It is because I really liked going outside and playing ball games like baseball and basketball.

Incorrect verb 'pray' should be 'play'; 'with balls like baseball, basketball' is ungrammatical—use 'playing ball games like baseball and basketball'. Also adjust tense consistency to past ('liked') to match 'Going to the park was...'.

× I do still like going to parks, it is because I like outside, I like watching sky, nice views, it makes comfortable and it just makes me feel better.

✓ I still like going to parks because I like being outside and watching the sky and nice views; they make me feel comfortable and improve my mood.

Comma splice: two independent clauses joined incorrectly—use conjunction or semicolon. 'like outside' should be 'like being outside'. 'watching sky' needs article 'the sky'. 'it makes comfortable' lacks subject and adjective form—use 'they make me feel comfortable'. Also remove redundant 'do'.

× I do wanna see more parks, especially in urban cities, urban areas, because there are a lot of buildings and there's not much of parks or trees.

✓ I do want to see more parks, especially in urban areas, because there are many buildings and not many parks or trees.

Informal 'wanna' should be 'want to'. 'Urban cities, urban areas' is repetitive—use 'urban areas'. 'there's not much of parks' is incorrect: use 'not many parks' for countable plural. 'a lot of buildings' is fine but 'many buildings' is more formal.

× That nature of Earth, and that's the one that I really like, so.

✓ I like nature on Earth, and that's what I really enjoy.

Awkward pronoun structure 'That nature of Earth' and dangling 'so' at the end. Use 'nature on Earth' and 'that's what I really enjoy' to make pronouns and reference clear.

× There are no real the park that I wanna go, but I don't really care the specific park but I just wanna see a nice view that makes me comfortable and.

✓ There is no specific park that I want to go to, but I don't mind the exact park; I just want to see a nice view that makes me feel comfortable.

Incorrect article and word order: 'no real the park' is ungrammatical—use 'no specific park' or 'there is no specific park'. Use appropriate verb form 'want to go to'. Avoid trailing 'and' and informal 'wanna'. Add 'feel' after 'makes me' for clarity.