Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and use past tense consistently. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail and a brief reflection. Avoid repetition (e.g., "love" and "other children") and minor grammar issues ("equipments" → "equipment").

Example: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I especially liked the swings and slides, and I used to play games with neighborhood children every weekend, which created fond memories.

Suggestion: Use present tense clearly and reduce hesitations and filler words. Give one clear reason and one short example. Combine ideas with a linking word like "because" or "so" but avoid repeating the same point.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they feel nostalgic. For example, when I see children playing on swings I used as a child, it brings back happy memories and relaxes me.

Suggestion: State your opinion clearly and support it with a specific reason and a short consequence. Correct grammar ("equipment", remove repeated words) and avoid vague phrases like "enjoy the childhood perfectly."

Example: Yes, I would. More parks would give children safe places to play and develop social skills. As a result, they would build positive memories and healthier routines as they grow up.

Suggestion: Be concise and avoid fillers. Use clear phrasing to explain why you want to visit and give one specific detail about what attracts you. Fix small errors and unnecessary repetition.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit Disneyland because I grew up watching Disney cartoons. I want to see the themed attractions and meet characters I admired as a child.

× Yes, I love going to parks as a child because I love playing with the equipments like the swing and slides in the park.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I loved playing with the equipment like the swings and slides in the park.

The speaker refers to childhood (past) so present tense 'love' should be past tense 'loved'. Also 'equipments' is uncountable or plural incorrect; use 'equipment'. 'Swing' should be plural 'swings' to match 'slides'. Use past tense consistently for clarity.

× And I also like playing with the others, other children that were present there.

✓ And I also liked playing with the other children who were there.

Mixing 'the others' and 'other children' is redundant. 'Who' is the correct relative pronoun for people, and past tense 'liked' matches childhood context.

× And obviously it's a really nice memory as my childhood.

✓ And obviously it's a really nice childhood memory.

Phrase order is incorrect; 'childhood memory' is the natural collocation. Keep 'it's' if referring to the memory in present; alternatively use 'it was' for past emphasis.

× Yes. I absolutely like going to parks now because it, it is very nostalgic and I can relieve those, uh, my childhood memories there when I see other children's play around with the same swing and slide that I used to play.

✓ Yes. I absolutely like going to parks now because it is very nostalgic and I can relive my childhood memories when I see other children playing on the same swings and slides that I used to play on.

Use 'relive' (not 'relieve') to mean experience again. Remove redundant 'those, uh, my'. Use 'children' plural without apostrophe for subject 'other children', and 'playing on' is correct preposition for swings/slides. Use plural 'swings and slides' and add 'on' after 'play' for clarity.

× So it does uh, have some positive influence in me.

✓ So it does have a positive influence on me.

Use 'influence on' not 'influence in'. Omit filler 'uh' and use article 'a' before 'positive influence'.

× So I love going to parks, yes.

✓ So I love going to parks now.

Context asks about now; keep present tense 'love' and add 'now' for clarity. Original is acceptable but 'now' ties to question.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my in my city because every child should have the chance to enjoy the childhood perfectly by using the equipments in the playground.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because every child should have the chance to enjoy childhood by using the equipment in the playground.

Remove duplicate 'in my'. 'Enjoy childhood' or 'enjoy their childhood' is natural; 'perfectly' is awkward and unnecessary. Use 'equipment' not 'equipments'.

× They will love when they love their memories when they grow up.

✓ They will love having those memories when they grow up.

Original is repetitive and ungrammatical. Use 'having those memories' to express possession of memories in future; remove duplicate 'love'. Ensure pronoun reference is clear.

× So yes, I think.

✓ So yes, I think so.

Add 'so' after 'think' to complete the common conversational phrase 'I think so.' Without it the sentence sounds incomplete.

× Yes, I would like to go to Disneyland. It's it's like my train to go there and to relieve tho those Disney Princess uh, the cartoons that I've seen in the Disney Channel, I'd love to go there.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to Disneyland. It's like a dream to go there and to relive those Disney princess cartoons that I saw on the Disney Channel; I'd love to go there.

'Relieve' is incorrect; use past participle 'relive' (verb) meaning to experience again. 'It's it's like my train' is incorrect metaphor; 'a dream' is a natural expression. 'Tho' is misspelling of 'those'. Use 'Disney princess' lowercase 'princess' unless title; 'saw on the Disney Channel' uses past tense 'saw' for past viewing.

× So Disneyland it's my choice to go in the future somewhere.

✓ So Disneyland is my choice for a place to go in the future.

Word order and redundancy ('it's' and 'somewhere') make sentence awkward. Reorder to 'Disneyland is my choice for a place to go in the future' for clear, grammatical expression.