Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and vary sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition of phrases like “as a child” and “going to the park.”

Example: Yes — I loved going to the park as a child. After school I would walk to the small green space below my house to play football and climb trees with my friends, which was my favourite way to unwind.

Suggestion: Be clearer and avoid hesitations and filler phrases. Provide one clear reason and a specific activity you do now, using a linking word to connect ideas. Replace vague words like “refresher” with a precise phrase.

Example: Yes, I do. I still visit Park 7 regularly because I enjoy walking there for exercise and fresh air, and sometimes I sit on a bench to read a book or meet friends.

Suggestion: Remove repeated words and make the cause-effect relationship clearer. Use a linking word (for example, “because” or “since”) and give a specific consequence or example of how parks have decreased.

Example: Yes, I would. I think we need more parks because recent construction has replaced many green spaces near my neighbourhood, leaving fewer places for children to play and for people to relax.

Suggestion: Be concise and provide one or two specific reasons why you want to visit that park. Use linking words like “because” or “for example” and avoid vague phrasing such as “clearly like.”

Example: Yes, I would like to visit Wembley Park in London because I’ve seen photos of its gardens and events, and I’m interested in its public art and green spaces.

× I loved going to the park as a child as I still remember every day after school going to the park that was just below my house and to play with friends and hang around with them.

✓ I loved going to the park as a child; I still remember going there every day after school to play with friends and hang out with them.

Original sentence has awkward and incorrect verb forms and parallel structure. 'going to the park' was repeated and 'to play' and 'hang around' should be parallel gerunds. Also 'hang around with them' is colloquial; 'hang out with them' is more natural. Use semicolon or split into two clauses for clarity and keep verbs in the -ing form for parallelism.

× I still like going to Park 7 at this age, not to ride the swings as you know because of my age, but I like to go to parks for a more for a refresher.

✓ I still like going to Park 7 at this age, not to ride the swings because of my age, but to visit parks for a refresh.

Redundant 'for a more for a refresher' is ungrammatical. Also 'to go to parks for a refresh' is more natural. Removed unnecessary article 'the' and extra words. Ensure concise phrasing and correct article usage.

× Yes absolutely I would like to see more parks in my city currently as currently the the construction of buildings has definitely reduced the amount of parks that a day around my vicinity.

✓ Yes, absolutely. I would like to see more parks in my city because recent construction has definitely reduced the number of parks in my area.

Original sentence has repetition ('currently the the'), wrong quantifier 'amount of parks' (should be 'number of parks'), and awkward phrase 'that a day around my vicinity'. Reworded for clarity, corrected quantifier, removed repetition, and used 'in my area' for natural expression.

× I would definitely like to visit parks in the future and the park that I clearly like and have seen in pictures is the Wembley Park, which is situated in London.

✓ I would definitely like to visit parks in the future; one park I like and have seen in pictures is Wembley Park in London.

Unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'Wembley Park' is not needed. 'Clearly like' is awkward; 'one park I like' is clearer. Simplified relative clause and punctuation for natural spoken phrasing.