Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Cải thiện cấu trúc câu và dùng thì phù hợp; tránh lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: 'our family are' sai, phải là 'my family would' hoặc 'my family also went'). Làm câu ngắn gọn hơn, có câu chủ đề rõ ràng và một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể hơn (ví dụ: hoạt động cụ thể, tần suất). Hạn chế lặp từ và giữ tối đa 4 câu.

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my friends to play football or climb trees. Sometimes my family had picnics and we would chat on a blanket under the trees. Those visits were a regular weekend treat.

Suggestion: Tránh bắt đầu bằng 'No, not really' nếu muốn trả lời chi tiết; dùng một câu chủ đề rõ ràng và theo sau bằng lý do cụ thể với liên từ (because, so, and). Giảm tiếng 'umm' và hợp nhất ý để tự nhiên hơn. Giữ độ dài dưới 5 câu.

Example: I don't go to parks much anymore because I am very busy with my studies. As a result, I have little free time on weekends. I also prefer spending my spare time on hobbies like reading and coding.

Suggestion: Câu trả lời rõ ràng nhưng hơi dài và lặp. Bắt đầu với câu chủ đề trực tiếp (e.g. 'No, I wouldn't') rồi nêu 1–2 lý do ngắn gọn, dùng liên từ để liền mạch. Thêm tính so sánh hoặc minh họa cụ thể để làm phong phú nội dung.

Example: No, I wouldn't want more parks because our city already has plenty of green spaces. For example, the main riverside park offers walking paths, playgrounds and exercise areas, so current facilities meet residents' needs.

Suggestion: Cần rút gọn và sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ 'go to there' sai — nên 'go there'). Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề 'Yes, I would like to visit...' rồi nêu lý do cụ thể: vị trí, hoạt động muốn làm, khi nào dự định. Tránh từ lặp và tiếng lấp đầy như 'uh', 'well'.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit the beach park at Ven Ocean Park near my house. I haven't had the chance yet, but I want to go because it has beautiful scenery and a long shoreline where I could relax and take photographs.

× As a child I usually went to parks to play with my friends and sometimes our family are also going to parks to have a picnic or talk with others.

✓ As a child I usually went to parks to play with my friends and sometimes my family also went to parks to have a picnic or talk with others.

The phrase 'are also going' uses present continuous which conflicts with the past time frame 'As a child' and 'usually went'. Use past simple 'also went' to keep tense consistent. Additionally 'our family' is acceptable but 'my family' is more natural with 'I'. Suggestion: match verb tense to the time frame and use consistent subject reference.

× Umm, because recently I'm too busy with my studies in school so I don't have so much free time to go to parks.

✓ Umm, recently I've been too busy with my studies at school, so I don't have much free time to go to parks.

The original mixes 'recently' with simple present 'I'm too busy' which is acceptable but 'recently' often pairs with present perfect continuous 'I've been too busy' to indicate an ongoing situation. Also use 'at school' rather than 'in school' for studies context and 'much' instead of 'so much' is more natural here. Suggestion: use present perfect continuous for ongoing recent situations.

× Also I have other interests that I would rather spend time on rather than going.

✓ Also I have other interests that I would rather spend time on than going to parks.

The comparison structure 'rather ... than ...' should compare parallel forms. The original ends with 'rather than going' which is vague; include the full gerund phrase 'going to parks' for clarity and parallelism. Suggestion: keep parallel verb forms and complete the comparison object.

× Well honestly no, because in my city we already have many parks which provide sufficient green space for walking, picnics and exercising or even playing and there are many facilities.

✓ Well, honestly no, because in my city we already have many parks that provide sufficient green space for walking, picnics, exercise, and play, and there are many facilities.

Use 'that' or 'which' consistently; 'exercise' and 'play' as nouns are clearer than gerunds mixed with other nouns. Also add commas for clarity. Subject-verb agreement is fine but sentence was wordy and unbalanced; suggestion: simplify list items and maintain parallel noun forms.

× Well, uh, I guess it can be a beach park in the Ven Ocean Park area near my house, but unfortunately I haven't had a chance to go to there but I really want to because it's very beautiful.

✓ Well, uh, I guess it would be the beach park in the Ven Ocean Park area near my house, but unfortunately I haven't had a chance to go there; I really want to because it's very beautiful.

Use 'would be' for hypothetical future preference rather than 'can be'. 'Go to there' is incorrect word order; correct is 'go there'. Use a semicolon or split sentences to avoid run-on. Suggestion: use appropriate modal for hypothetical (would), correct pronoun placement, and split long sentence for clarity.