Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise, use a clear topic sentence and add one brief specific reason or memory. Avoid unnecessary words (e.g., "since it's too far"). Use a linking word if adding detail.

Example: No, I rarely went to parks as a child because the nearest one was too far from our house. For example, I usually played in our backyard or nearby streets, so I didn't have many park memories.

Suggestion: Start with a direct topic sentence and avoid fillers ("umm"). Organize supporting ideas with linking words (e.g., "because", "also") and be specific about activities you enjoy.

Example: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I can stroll and clear my mind. Also, I often relax there alone, and sometimes I meet friends to have a picnic.

Suggestion: Give a clear reason and avoid repetition. Use one or two specific reasons why more parks would help (e.g., accessibility, variety of facilities). Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

Example: Yes, I would love more parks in my city because the current park is the only nearby option. More parks would make outdoor space more accessible and offer different facilities like playgrounds and walking trails.

Suggestion: Provide a clear, complete sentence naming the park and one specific reason why you want to return. Avoid vague endings and unfinished thoughts.

Example: Yes, I would like to return to Sierra Garden because I visited it a long time ago and remember it being very peaceful. For example, its flower beds and quiet paths helped me relax during my last visit.

× When I was a child, I didn't have the experience to go to the park since it's too far from our house, so I only played here at home.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have the opportunity to go to the park since it was too far from our house, so I only played at home.

Original uses 'the experience to go' which is awkward; 'opportunity to go' is correct. Also tense mismatch: describing past child situation requires past tense 'was' not 'is'. Preposition 'at home' is standard rather than 'here at home'. Suggestion: use 'opportunity' for chances and keep past tense consistent.'

× Well, umm, I would like to go to the park since in the park you can stroll and then you can think of something or if you want to re if I want to relax then I can do it by my own or usually if I have friends that's OK.

✓ Well, I would like to go to the park since there you can stroll and then think, or if I want to relax I can do it by myself, and if I have friends, that's also fine.

Problems include awkward phrasing and pronoun use: 'do it by my own' should be 'by myself'. 'In the park you can stroll' is better as 'there you can stroll'. Remove redundant 'then you can' and 're'. Use commas to separate ideas. Suggestion: simplify clauses, use 'by myself' for reflexive, and avoid repetition.'

× Yes, I would love to. I wanted to go to or I I want to experience going to the other park that just one park so that I get to see and experience going to the other parks as well.

✓ Yes, I would love to. I want to visit other parks so that I can see and experience them as well.

Mixes past 'wanted' and present 'want'; keep present desire using 'I want'. Redundant and wordy phrasing 'to go to or I I want to experience going to the other park that just one park' is unclear. Use 'visit other parks' and 'so that I can' for purpose. Suggestion: use simple present for current wishes and concise expressions.'

× Yes. And somehow I wish to go on that particular part in the future, just like in Sierra Garden.

✓ Yes. I wish to go to that particular park in the future, such as Sierra Garden.

Uses 'go on that particular part' incorrectly: should be 'go to that particular park'. 'Part' is wrong word; preposition 'to' is required with 'go'. 'Just like in Sierra Garden' is awkward; 'such as Sierra Garden' or 'like Sierra Garden' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'go to' + place and correct noun 'park'.'

× So I've been there long time ago and I want to come back in there because it's really relaxing and I get to.

✓ I went there a long time ago and I want to go back because it's really relaxing and I enjoyed it.

Mixes present perfect 'I've been there' with 'long time ago' which requires simple past 'I went there a long time ago'. 'Come back in there' is incorrect: use 'go back' or 'come back' without 'in'. 'I get to' is unfinished; use 'I enjoyed it' or 'I can relax there'. Suggestion: use simple past for specific past times and complete the sentence with a full clause.'