Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and reduce hesitation. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details with smooth linking. Avoid repeating words (e.g., “used to”) and filler sounds like “uh.”

Example: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My father often took me to the playground where we would play football and basketball, and I remember enjoying the open space and meeting other children.

Suggestion: Give a clear main idea, then support it with a brief reason and a specific example. Avoid repeating the same phrase and combine similar ideas into one sentence using a linking word (e.g., “however,” “but,” “although”).

Example: I still enjoy going to parks; however, I rarely have time because of my studies and work. Occasionally I go with friends to play basketball, which helps me relax.

Suggestion: State your opinion clearly, then give specific reasons and one example. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example,” and avoid fillers. Be precise about what needs improving (e.g., facilities, safety).

Example: Yes, I would. Many parks in my city are old and need renovation because playground equipment and paths are worn out. For example, repairing swings and adding safe play areas would benefit children.

Suggestion: Be specific and accurate about place names and give a reason why you want to visit. Avoid unsure language and hesitation. Mention one or two concrete attractions or features you liked from the videos.

Example: Yes, I would like to visit parks in New York, such as Central Park. I saw videos showing its large lawns, walking paths and lakes, and I want to experience that relaxed atmosphere and greenery in person.

× When I was a child, I used to enjoy going to parks.

✓ When I was a child, I used to enjoy going to parks.

No correction needed; sentence is correct. 'Used to' plus base verb or 'enjoy' plus gerund 'going' is appropriate.

× Uh, my father used to bring me always to playgrounds, play to play football or basketball.

✓ Uh, my father always used to bring me to playgrounds to play football or basketball.

The adverb 'always' should be placed before 'used to' for natural word order. Also use 'to bring me to playgrounds to play' to show purpose. This fixes sentence structure and adverb placement.

× To be honest, I still enjoy going to parks, but I do not have time to go to parks because of my studies and my work.

✓ To be honest, I still enjoy going to parks, but I do not have time to go because of my studies and work.

Repeating 'parks' is redundant; removing the second instance makes the sentence more natural. Tense is appropriate; this is a stylistic/word choice improvement rather than tense error.

× They need to build more parks because children, uh, want to play in this.

✓ They need to build more parks because children, uh, want to play in them.

The pronoun must agree with the plural noun 'parks'; use plural object pronoun 'them' instead of singular 'this'.

× Yes I do. I saw a lot of videos in the social media, uh, of parks in uh, New York like uh, uh, city garden, I think I forgot the name or umm Madison Square Garden.

✓ Yes I do. I saw a lot of videos on social media of parks in New York, like City Garden — I think I forgot the name — or Madison Square Garden.

Use 'on social media' not 'in the social media'. 'New York' does not need 'uh,'. Proper nouns like 'City Garden' and 'Madison Square Garden' should be capitalized and separated clearly. Also remove extraneous filler words. 'City Garden' may be a specific name; hyphens or dashes clarify parenthetical phrase.

× Uh, I really enjoyed the vibe and the nature there. I want to go.

✓ Uh, I really enjoyed the vibe and the natural surroundings there. I want to go.

'Nature there' is understandable but unidiomatic; 'natural surroundings' or 'the nature there' can be improved. Also keep tense consistent: 'I really enjoyed' (past) followed by 'I want to go' (present) is acceptable because enjoyment was from viewing and desire is current.