Parks— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No) then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations and fix grammar (use past tense and correct negation). Use linking words to connect ideas.

Example: No, I didn’t really enjoy going to parks as a child. There was only one poorly maintained park in my town, and it felt unsafe to go there alone. For these reasons, I rarely visited parks when I was young.

Suggestion: Answer directly and correct grammar (use present perfect or simple present appropriately). Provide one clear reason and a linked consequence or plan. Remove filler words and repeat phrasing.

Example: I haven’t been to many parks, mainly because my parents never took me, so I’m not familiar with park routines. However, if I get the chance, I would like to visit a park with friends to relax and explore the atmosphere.

Suggestion: Start with a concise topic sentence, then give two specific supporting details (safety, development) and one example of how you would use parks. Use correct verb forms and avoid repeating short filler phrases.

Example: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because recent developments have made them safer and more attractive. If there were more parks, I would go for walks, enjoy the greenery, and meet friends for casual conversations.

Suggestion: Be specific and concise: name the park if possible, describe one or two vivid details (what you liked), and state your plan. Correct repetition and grammar, and use linking words to make the sequence clear.

Example: Yes — there is a park in Japan I would like to visit. I saw photos of a garden filled with lilies and other flowering plants, and I loved the peaceful atmosphere. If I have the chance to travel, I’ll make a point of visiting that park.

× Actually, if in my perspective, I did not liked it that much because when I was young, uh, there was no park in my city.

✓ Actually, from my perspective, I did not like it that much because when I was young, there were no parks in my city.

Uses past tense 'did not liked' which is incorrect: after 'did' the base form 'like' should be used (rule for past simple). Also 'if in my perspective' is unnatural; 'from my perspective' is appropriate. 'There was no park' is singular and better as plural 'there were no parks' to match general absence. Suggestion: use 'did not like' and 'there were no parks'.

× There was a park, but it was not that much developed park and it was actually not very safe, uh, to go there alone.

✓ There was a park, but it was not a very developed park and it was actually not very safe to go there alone.

Incorrect word order and phrasing: 'not that much developed park' is wrong; use adjective phrase 'a very developed park' or 'a well-developed park'. Also include the article 'a' before 'very developed park'. Suggestion: say 'not a very developed park' or 'not well developed'.

× But if I talk about it personally, like in my opinion.

✓ But if I speak personally, that's just my opinion.

Fragment: original has no main verb or completes the thought. 'But if I talk about it personally, like in my opinion' is redundant and unfinished. Suggestion: finish the sentence with a main clause such as 'that's just my opinion' or simply 'personally, I would say...'.

× Umm, I have not been to park yet, even if I'm 18 years old because my parents never took me there and I really don't know how the park is and how it works.

✓ Umm, I have not been to a park yet, even though I'm 18 years old because my parents never took me there and I really don't know what parks are like or how they work.

Missing article: 'been to park' requires 'a park'. 'Even if I'm 18' is incorrect connector; use 'even though'. 'How the park is' is unnatural; use 'what parks are like'. Suggestion: use articles and natural phrasing: 'been to a park' and 'what parks are like'.

× So I really don't know the culture or maybe the, uh, the vibe there.

✓ So I really don't know the culture or maybe the vibe there.

Minor redundancy: double 'the' is unnecessary. Tense is fine. Suggestion: remove duplicate 'the' for fluency.

× But if I get a chance, I'll probably go there with my friends, yes.

✓ But if I get a chance, I'll probably go there with my friends.

Extra 'yes' at the end is unnecessary in a formal response. Grammar is otherwise correct. Suggestion: omit filler 'yes'.

× Yes, of course, I'd really like to see parks in my city, uh, in, as I said, in the past there were no parks, uh, but now there are a lot of parks which have been developed and which are very safe and has security all the time.

✓ Yes, of course, I'd really like to see more parks in my city. As I said, in the past there were no parks, but now there are many parks that have been developed and are very safe with security at all times.

Multiple issues: 'have been developed and which are very safe and has security' has subject-verb agreement and relative clause problems: use 'parks that have been developed and are very safe' and 'have security' or 'with security' rather than 'has security'. Also split into two sentences for clarity and replace 'a lot of' with 'many' and 'all the time' with 'at all times'. Suggestion: ensure agreement ('parks...are') and correct relative clause structure.

× So I think, uh, I would like to see more parks in my city and I would like to visit them with my friends or I'll just go for a walk.

✓ So I think I would like to see more parks in my city, and I would like to visit them with my friends or just go for a walk.

No major grammar error but remove contraction/informal filler and repetitive 'I'll'. Maintain parallel structure: 'visit them...or just go'. Suggestion: keep parallel verb forms and avoid unnecessary fillers.

× I'll just enjoy the greenery. I'll just chit chat with them there.

✓ I'll just enjoy the greenery and chat with them there.

Combine sentences for naturalness and avoid 'chit chat' split as two short clauses; 'chat' is sufficient. Suggestion: use a single sentence and a natural verb 'chat'.

× There is one pack which I really want, uh, which I really want to go in future, which is situated in Japan.

✓ There is one park that I really want to go to in the future, which is located in Japan.

Spelling error: 'pack' should be 'park'. 'Which I really want to go in future' is incorrect word order; use 'go to in the future'. 'Situated' is okay but 'located' is more natural. Suggestion: correct spelling and preposition use 'go to in the future'.

× I really don't remember the name I saw it in real, but I really like the vibe there.

✓ I don't really remember the name; I saw it in real life, but I really liked the vibe there.

Missing punctuation and awkward phrasing: 'I saw it in real' is incomplete; correct is 'in real life'. Tense consistency: if speaking about a past visit, use 'liked' rather than 'like'. Suggestion: use proper connectors and consistent past tense when referring to a past experience.

× It was having. It was a garden full of leaf flowers and I really like lilies Lily.

✓ It was a garden full of leafy flowers and I really like lilies.

'It was having' is ungrammatical; remove it. 'Leaf flowers' should be 'leafy flowers' or 'flowering trees' depending on meaning. 'I really like lilies Lily' duplicates word; use 'lilies'. Suggestion: use 'It was a garden full of leafy flowers' and maintain noun plurality and correct adjectives.

× So if I get a chance, I'll probably go there. And that is the one park which is on my checklist and I really want to go there.

✓ So if I get a chance, I'll probably go there. That park is on my checklist and I really want to visit it.

Awkward relative clause: 'that is the one park which is on my checklist' is wordy; use 'That park is on my checklist'. Use 'visit it' instead of repeating 'go there' for variety. Suggestion: simplify clauses and avoid repetition.